My partner says I'm an extremist for being vegan. I cannot compromise and go back to eating dead animals or their by- products. I feel so lonely & isolated. Anyone else in the same situation?
Question Non vegan partner
- Thread starter The Lonely vegan
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Hi there, Lonely!
You are obviously not an extremist just for being vegan. Are you a new vegan? I think especially new vegans often feel this way, until they manage to create a network of supportive people around them, either online or offline or both. Veggie Views is here for this reason, to provide a supportive network for veg*ns who struggle with these sorts of feelings, and more.
I'm lucky as my wife is also vegan, and our daughter is born vegan. I know lots of people online who are vegans, and have become acquainted with some vegans offline as well.
Another thing that helps is visiting nearby vegan festivals, if nothing else just to see that one is not alone in this world view and choosing this way of life.
You are obviously not an extremist just for being vegan. Are you a new vegan? I think especially new vegans often feel this way, until they manage to create a network of supportive people around them, either online or offline or both. Veggie Views is here for this reason, to provide a supportive network for veg*ns who struggle with these sorts of feelings, and more.
I'm lucky as my wife is also vegan, and our daughter is born vegan. I know lots of people online who are vegans, and have become acquainted with some vegans offline as well.
Another thing that helps is visiting nearby vegan festivals, if nothing else just to see that one is not alone in this world view and choosing this way of life.
Enlightened1
Newcomer
I've been vegan for the past 22 years with 3 of my 4 children born vegan...my partner died, then I guess I rebounded into a violent relationship, then I married who I thought was my best friend...now turning into a nightmare 
he doesn't get veganism at all
he doesn't get veganism at all
Enlightened1
Newcomer
Enlightened1
Newcomer
I also teach Food & Nutrition from a vegan standpoint which gives me a lot of strength, so there's that too I guess...
22 years a vegan, and 4 vegan children, well done! AmazingI've been vegan for the past 22 years with 3 of my 4 children born vegan...my partner died, then I guess I rebounded into a violent relationship, then I married who I thought was my best friend...now turning into a nightmare
Ouch on your relationships, that sounds tough.
We do have several vegans on here who are or have been in relationships with meat-eaters, so I hope some of them will come forward and share their experiences.
You mean, you teach it to your children?
MadamSarcastra
MadamSarcastra, over & out.
Wow! That's impressive! Kudos to you AND your kids!
While I'm am not in a relationship, I DO see my best friend of 25 years every single day & he is most definitely omni. He gave up red meat but eats everything else except seafood... chicken, turkey, bacon, etc. Yes, it bothers me, but I know being preachy won't garner me any further respect.
I consider myself an extremely strict vegetarian (very low sodium, gave up eggs, recently switched out my favorite coffee creamer for a plant-based one, cook most of my own food, as vegan as humanly possible), but as far as where I live, I may as well be full-on hard-core vegan.
LOLI suppose there will always be frustration. I think we just need to trust ourselves enough to be able to handle it in a calm & rational manner.
And by the way... you won't ever be "lonely" here on Veggie Views.
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Enlightened1
Newcomer
You mean, you teach it to your children?
I mean it's my job, I teach Food full time at secondary..
I mean it's my job, I teach Food full time at secondary..
Enlightened1
Newcomer
Hey lonely vegan, welcome to the forum from my side as well!
I am one of those who has been living for a long time (15 years+) with a non-vegan spouse.
When we met, I was a happy-go-lucky vegetarian, did not care what everybody else was eating and was happy with everything as long as I got my meat-free food for myself.
Some 7 years ago, I read an innocuous book that told me about the horrors of the egg and dairy industry, and I stopped to consume animal products that very week. Since then, my own views have become a lot more "radical" and it does bother me a lot more what others do to animals. So I also started to be more sad about the fact that when my kids were born, and my wife spent all day with them while I was at work, of course she fed them what she considered to be a healthful diet. I am happy that my younger son at about age 9 decided himself (based on my example) that he does not want to eat meat any more and so far (he's now 12) has kept up up a 95 % pescatarian diet, against the seductions you typically have to endure.
I am happy in the way that my wife is rather supportive of my diet and most of the time cooks things that I can eat. On the other hand, being married to a vegetarian and then vegan for 15 years certainly did not "convince" her to change her own diet. I have heard of others who have been lucky in that respect, but I am afraid getting together with an omnivore, hoping that they "will get it" at some point in time and change their ways (as some I know do) can be a recipe for disaster.
My suggestion to you ... stay polite but firm in your beliefs. No, you are likely not any more "extremist" than any of the others here, and you should know that by now, having led the life for 20+ years. It sounds from your post as if this might not be the only thing that is amiss in your relationship, so do give it some serious thought. And good luck to you and your family!!!
I am one of those who has been living for a long time (15 years+) with a non-vegan spouse.
When we met, I was a happy-go-lucky vegetarian, did not care what everybody else was eating and was happy with everything as long as I got my meat-free food for myself.
Some 7 years ago, I read an innocuous book that told me about the horrors of the egg and dairy industry, and I stopped to consume animal products that very week. Since then, my own views have become a lot more "radical" and it does bother me a lot more what others do to animals. So I also started to be more sad about the fact that when my kids were born, and my wife spent all day with them while I was at work, of course she fed them what she considered to be a healthful diet. I am happy that my younger son at about age 9 decided himself (based on my example) that he does not want to eat meat any more and so far (he's now 12) has kept up up a 95 % pescatarian diet, against the seductions you typically have to endure.
I am happy in the way that my wife is rather supportive of my diet and most of the time cooks things that I can eat. On the other hand, being married to a vegetarian and then vegan for 15 years certainly did not "convince" her to change her own diet. I have heard of others who have been lucky in that respect, but I am afraid getting together with an omnivore, hoping that they "will get it" at some point in time and change their ways (as some I know do) can be a recipe for disaster.
My suggestion to you ... stay polite but firm in your beliefs. No, you are likely not any more "extremist" than any of the others here, and you should know that by now, having led the life for 20+ years. It sounds from your post as if this might not be the only thing that is amiss in your relationship, so do give it some serious thought. And good luck to you and your family!!!
carrotcake
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I've been there with my family. It's hard to have people around that aren't supportive of your veganism and I 100% feel you. Fortunately, I am living on my own now and can decide what to eat without my parents nagging.
If your partner isn't supportive or respectful towards your choices to live vegan, then I'd definitely sit down and have a talk with him. As your partner, he has to understand it, or at least respect it. Maybe he just doesn't fully understand your point of view? Pro-tip: Try not to be dismissive of HIS lifestyle when you're trying to get your point across. I find it very unhelpful when I explain others why I'm vegan and get accusatory, if you know what I mean... Just make sure there's no judging hun
If your partner isn't supportive or respectful towards your choices to live vegan, then I'd definitely sit down and have a talk with him. As your partner, he has to understand it, or at least respect it. Maybe he just doesn't fully understand your point of view? Pro-tip: Try not to be dismissive of HIS lifestyle when you're trying to get your point across. I find it very unhelpful when I explain others why I'm vegan and get accusatory, if you know what I mean... Just make sure there's no judging hun
Enlightened1
Newcomer
He's just dumped me by text last night after leaving me 2 weeks ago, and is refusing to talk face to face Broken
MadamSarcastra
MadamSarcastra, over & out.
Oh, hon....
Broken
I'm just speaking personally, but I don't think this guy is worth another moment of your time... given your previous issues and now, this complete & utter cowardly douchebaggery.... I don't know you, but you don't ever need to put up with that sh*t. 
Sorry to hear it, but can't help but think whether you might not be much better off without him in the long run!!!
