My veganism keeps causing family conflicts

Anonymous1502

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My grandma keeps looking at anti vegan things on the internet and we keep having conflicts about it. She keeps trying to tell me that veganism is unhealthy and dangerous etc.I don't want to give up being vegan as the animals are sentient beings and don't deserve to be murdered.I try to avoid talking about veganism but she keeps calling me with her anti vegan findings.I love her and all but she needs to accept that I am vegan.I keep trying to explain to her that it is healthy etc but she doesn't listen.
 

Jamie in Chile

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Keep on going with the conflicts but spread them out over time and don't be too aggressive but keep up with your point of view. Do your research on the points she raises. Let us know if you need help to answer specific concerns. After a while, there is a good chance she will become more accepting provided that you stay healthy.

Good luck!
 

Sax

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Don't argue with with her, it'll only feed her sense that your veganism is something that requires push back. Next time she brings it up tell her that she can believe whatever she wants about veganism but that she should keep it to herself. Don't raise the topic with her, and shut her down immediately if she tries to raise it.

You don't need her approval or acceptance on this, anymore than you do on your choice of sexual partners.
 
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TofuRobot

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A suggestion I read recently for a similar family conflict with regards to diet: Kisses!! Hugs and kisses - "I love you so much, G'ma! Let's not waste our precious time arguing over things like this, tell me about your day!"

If she persists, you can throw in a "You know what - I just came back from a checkup and my doctor says that whatever I'm doing I should keep doing b/c I'm healthy as a horse, so I'm not changing a thing!" then change the subject.

Another way to dispel unsolicited advise is to simply say "Thank you for your input, I'll keep that in mind." A little bit of advise I heard when I was pregnant.

Good luck!
 

NathanD3V

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Your experience is really relatable.

I live alone, so my family doesn't know what I eat. After a few weeks worth of concerned texts from my mum when I told her I was vegan, I decided to go to her place to talk things out. On the way there though, I had an idea. I stopped to get some vegan sausages, potatoes, beans, veg and gravy. When I got to my mum's place, I heated it all up ready for her to come home. I put on a bit of a drama saying I'd given up on veganism and wanted to sit down with her to have a "proper meal". She ate it, suspected nothing and really enjoyed it. After finishing, I came clean and told her that was a vegan "proper meal". She's been accommodating ever since.
 

TofuRobot

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Your experience is really relatable.

I live alone, so my family doesn't know what I eat. After a few weeks worth of concerned texts from my mum when I told her I was vegan, I decided to go to her place to talk things out. On the way there though, I had an idea. I stopped to get some vegan sausages, potatoes, beans, veg and gravy. When I got to my mum's place, I heated it all up ready for her to come home. I put on a bit of a drama saying I'd given up on veganism and wanted to sit down with her to have a "proper meal". She ate it, suspected nothing and really enjoyed it. After finishing, I came clean and told her that was a vegan "proper meal". She's been accommodating ever since.
I'm not usually a fan of lies and trickery, but this makes me smile :)
 

Emma JC

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I agree with many of the suggestions above and love your solution Nathan.

It seems that she likes research and so another idea would be to research it with her. You already are vegan for the animals and the environment, most likely, so now would be a good time to do your research on the healthy part of a whole food plant based lifestyle. Your grandma has a point that there are unhealthy vegans and there are healthy non-vegans.

Maybe an evening together of watching "What the Health" (Netflix), and watching Dr Greger's scientific videos on YouTube under NutritionFacts.org . His latest series of videos is about Keto diets and is fascinating. Also his online speeches about How Not to Die (and the book/library) and his new book How Not to Diet is available for pre-order.

Point her, and yourself, in the all the right directions and do your best to learn for yourself and you will then know that you have done the best for both of you. I have had discussions with my family members as well and they do not wish to listen or change anymore and that is fine and is their decision. They do not try to convince me and I don't try to convince them. I do cook for them when I am with them and they, in turn, respect me and what I chose to eat.

Let us know how it progresses!

Emma JC