UK My Parents won't let me go vegan

TheWannaBeVegan

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So I convinced them to let me go pescitarian 5 months ago, then about a week ago I asked to go vegetarian and if I could then I would lije to go vegan. They let me go vegetarian(not very happily) but I still really want to go vegan. I am in a really tough situation though.
My Grandad owns a sheep farm and has previously owned a dairy farm, which my dad grew up on. So my dad is super mad and angry that I would even consider going vegan! Not to mention that I also go to have lunch with my grandparents every week normally, before covid. My mum nearly let me go vegan but my dad is kinda controlling over her so if my dad isn't convinced, knowone is.
I tried to show my mum the Dominion documentary but she said it was too long, then I found a quick dairy video exposing it by Earthling Ed. But now my parents are even MORE mad at me because they say "You're not looking at the good side of it!". Which there is none apart from the farmers(which I guess they value over a life). Plus my mum then said "We will just buy organic because it's way better" and "nothing like what is in the video". Then, I explained to her how it still isn't good because they take away the baby cow's. However, ofcoarse my dad had to intervene by saying that they "get over it". Which why would then the mothers and baby's cry for days?!
To make matters even worse, my mum is a doctor! She says I will be unhealthy and says if we can't get vitimin B12 from plants the diet is not natural! I showed her chronometer, and messaged her the documentary "What The Health" (which she probably won't watch).
My parents, as far as I know of, are pretty wealthy. So money really isn't an issue. I go to a private school.
To be honest I don't eat that much eggs and dairy since I have tried to be quite persistent, however if someone offers me something like a cookie at school and everyone eats them, plus I have no excuse then I sort of have to eat it. Plus my mum and dad sometimes just shout at me until I eat their food if they want me to.
My grandma, who has know passed, also had a calcium deficiency and her back looked really bad. So my mum is scared of that, even though I showed her how I could get enough. I am also 13 and one of the shortest in my year. 😬
My parents have also started using the new excuse "Knowone is vegan at school" and "None of your freinds are vegan" which is true but not a very good excuse. I had to get packlunch because the school meals for vegetarians were HORRIBLE and full of goats cheese which does not only taste horrible but is also cruel.
I am quite a shy nervous person however at this point I am willing to give nearly anything a try. Please leave anything that could be of any help!

p.s. Sorry this is so long
 

Lou

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On another forum, we got this question so many times I made a copy of my response. I will paste it at the bottom. But I am not sure any of it will help. you seem to have done most of the stuff I have suggested.

There are at least two others on this forum who have the same issues as you do. You guys can form a club. :)

Luis Halson from NZ and I think Rory share your issues.

Meanwhile, the only advice I can give you is to do as much as you can within the limitations you have. No one can expect or ask for more.

______

I’m no expert on this subject but we get this question a lot here so I’ve done a little research.
The Vegetarian Resource Group has a FAQ on this subject. I would think this would be the best place to start.
There are a bunch of teenage vegans who have videos on this subject in YouTube. I haven't watched any of them and I imagine that some may not be of any help at all. But you might want to check a few out. Bite Size Vegan is a well-respected adult YouTube vegan. She has a video on the subject.
My best advice is to take your time, be patient, and think long term.
See what DVDs are at the library (or Netflix) and try to get the family to watch things like "Forks over Knives" or " Food, Inc.”, or “Cowspiracy”. “After the Flood” is all about Global Warming but touches on eating less meat. “What The Health” is like Forks Over Knives but more interesting. Keep an eye out for the new movie, “Eating You Alive”.
Order some free vegetarian and vegetarian starter kits (you can find them online). Read them and then leave the pamphlets in the family's bathroom, nightstands, and coffee tables as reading material.
Volunteer to help out with the cooking and shopping. It will be good practice for you when you go off to college. Check out a vegetarian cookbook from the library or find a recipe online that people might like. Volunteer to cook it. You should also help your mom with the shopping list and maybe even shopping. And when you help your mom with the shopping you can help her choose ingredients for more vegetarian meals.
In the meantime, just eat the non-meat things in the house. Make sure to get all your nutrients no matter what.
 

Sproutskies

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This is a tough one since your parents are financially and morally responsible for your wellbeing. Beyond them just saying that it's unhealthy it could be even more so that they are just threatened by the idea of removing all animal products. It might make them feel conflicted as you are in a sense saying that their way is wrong. The fact that your dad was raised on a dairy farm seems like it would provoke a strong emotional reaction.

It would help if you know any family or friends who have transitioned/have them apart of the conversation. The more examples your parents see of healthy vegans the better the chances that they will start to move in your direction. Also presenting some research and facts that resonate with you will signal to them that you are serious about making a switch. I like the idea of slowly convincing them over time instead of trying to take a stand all at once.

Goodluck!
 

Thundergleep

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I'm so sorry for your dilemma, it's sounds like you've really tried everything to convince them to let you give it a try. Unfortunately you might just have to wait it out a bit. My son is only 5 right now, but I can imagine if he says he wants to start eating meat one day, I wouldn't let him (at home, anyway, not much I could do when he's out of the house).

Obviously I would love for it to be easier for you, since I know you're making the right choice, but your parents are still responsible for you. Since so many people still believe you can't be healthy without animal products, it's hard to sway a parent who thinks they're looking out for their kid.

Maybe just remind them that you're not doing drugs, or vandalizing, or doing any of the "bad stuff" many teenagers do. You're "teenage rebellion" is showing compassion to animals and the planet. They got pretty luck if you ask me! 😉
 
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Andy_T

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That is awesome news.

But now - above everything, be consistent!

If somebody at school offers you cookies and you make exceptions, my guess is that your parents will assume your heart is not really into it, and not see the need to accommodate your wishes. Just my view, which might not be correct.

Honestly, they might just be trying the “It’s likely just a phase - let’s accept it until X grows out of it by themselves” approach.

Also, be aware that every non-vegan you know, friends, family, strangers, will feel tempted to “test you”.
Why? Because you are a threat to them.

They all think that they are decent people, and that they are “animal-lovers”. They know, deep down, that animals don’t really appreciate to get killed and eaten, but as “everybody is doing it”, it’s fine, and nobody can really demand from them to stop doing it.

And then, sanctimonious you comes along and shows them that there are people who are willing to forego delicious meat and tasty cheese because they believe animals should not be murdered. Believe me, this is NOT what they want to see.

So for many, this will elicit the response to try to show you that you are not any better than them ... however they might achieve that ...
 
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Nayfairy

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My parents have let me go vegan!!!!!! I don't know if it will last, but I think they have kind of just gave in. I am so happy!!!!
Yay! I'm so happy for you!!! I hope it lasts and that they have become more understanding and supportive. That sounds like a really challenging situation you were in, I really felt for you reading that.

About the B12 thing- animals only have B12 from eating their feces and bits of soil in their food (it comes from bacteria). We used to get ours from plants and water, but now our food and water are super washed for hygiene it no longer contains it in a reliable way. Also, animal feed is often supplemented for B12. There are a lot of plant-based foods that are supplemented with B12 like nutritional yeast flakes you can use instead, or of course you can take a vegan B12 supplement.
 

Jon

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This is a tough one since your parents are financially and morally responsible for your wellbeing. Beyond them just saying that it's unhealthy it could be even more so that they are just threatened by the idea of removing all animal products. It might make them feel conflicted as you are in a sense saying that their way is wrong. The fact that your dad was raised on a dairy farm seems like it would provoke a strong emotional reaction.

It would help if you know any family or friends who have transitioned/have them apart of the conversation. The more examples your parents see of healthy vegans the better the chances that they will start to move in your direction. Also presenting some research and facts that resonate with you will signal to them that you are serious about making a switch. I like the idea of slowly convincing them over time instead of trying to take a stand all at once.

Goodluck!
I'm so glad that you managed to get them to allow that. Unfortunately, at your age, your parents have full control over you but when you become "of age" you can eat whatever you want. You are classed as adult then and can make your own decisions. I had an uncle that was a dairy farmer and used to spend my summers on the farm, which as a vegan, was difficult but my aunty understood that that I didn't want to eat anything that anything to do with animals. I am now in my 79th year, healthy except for the retrieval of some of my memories! I was the 1st known registered vegan baby in the UK, my father was one of three founder members of The Vegan Society, it was all so new then. but I and others have proved it is a healthy way to live for personal health, the World and all the animals in it. There is no need for the awful cruelty that goes into animal food production also it's a lot cheaper per acre to produce food and eat it with plant based foods. It cuts out the middle man so to speak. Why put plants through an animal and then eat it when eating the plant is just as good, if not better, without all the stuff they pump into animals to make them grow faster and to combat the many diseases they can have due to intensive "farming". Well done, I hope you can stick to it as it's so much easier today than it was when I was your age. jc