My fiancé has decided to go back to eating meat

HouseElf

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My fiancé recently told me he has decided after 'months of consideration' that he's going to start eating meat again. He was a pescatarian before. We've been together for just over 5 and a half years and share a 2 year old together, who is being raised vegan. He won't explain his reasoning to me, as he says I'm too sensitive on the subject - which is true, because I'm an emotional person that cries easily, so when talking about what happens to the poor animals I always feel like crying. However I feel like I need this discussion with him, if I'm being honest I want to change his mind but at the very least I feel like I deserve to know his reasoning. I know he's his own person who can make his own decisions, but I feel like because he knows how this kind of stuff affects me he should feel the need to talk to me about it?
Honestly I'm just at a loss, I don't know what to do at all. I have poor mental health at the best of times and this whole thing has caused me a lot of depression and anxiety. Does anyone have any advice or opinions? Does anyone happen to have a meat eating partner? If so, how does your relationship work? Thanks for reading this far.
 
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Emma JC

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welcome to the forum @HouseElf and I am so sorry that you have this issue to deal with at this time of year especially

I am not trained in psychology or any other 'ology and yet I do have a great deal of life experience.

I would suggest that, if possible, you both go for counselling as soon as you can because it sounds to me like he may be using 'eating meat' as a way to pull back from the relationship and that is going to affect you and your two year old and putting the cards on the table with honesty will be better for everyone. This is a pretty classic way for people to change relationship status.... start up a behaviour that will make the other person push them away and they don't have to take responsibility for it.

I see you are 24 which means you have been together since you were 19 which is very young and it is not unusual for relationships to change when you are in that age demographic. A child definitely makes that more challenging for both of you which is why outside counselling can help you either stay together and be happy together or, worst case, have a change in your relationship and do it calmly and as loving and caring as possible.

I send you big hugs as I went through a marriage break up at your age and it was hard and I am thankful there were not any children involved. He definitely engaged in behaviour designed to make me push him away and yet because of my upbringing I would have stayed. Thankfully he pushed me away and it was ultimately the best thing that happened to me as life would have been miserable with him. That was over 30 years ago and I am grateful every day.

All the best to you!

Emma JC
Find your vegan soulmate or just a friend. www.spiritualmatchmaking.com
 

Jamie in Chile

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Since you mentioned depression, I do think Emma and Chryssie are right, you need to think about counselling. We don't want to make a mistake here that could make things worse.

You are going to have a discussion with him. Tell him you want to understand his reasons but you will ultimately accept his decision (assuming that's true).

If he insists, I think you should take the chance to get a firmer promise than ever on your kid being raised vegan. People don´t like to double disappoint, and following a discussion about his own eating habits, he will be inclined to give you something if you ask for the confirmation that nothing will change on your kid.

Good luck. I do sympathise.
 

Jamie in Chile

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Hi House Elf, just checking in, how are you doing? Let us know if you need any more help.
 
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VeganRachel

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Hi, thanks for sharing. His decision is an easy way to separate himself from you. Yet, he has the right to make
his own choices whether you agree or not. You may not be able to change his decision. It may be the time for both
of you to go your separate ways. He may have been subject to male ridicule, was not fully committed as you are, or
was feeling an addiction to meat returning.
Eating fish is very close to eating other animal flesh. I feel the same about those who consume dairy and eggs; they still involve animal oppression and death
I am amazed many vegan women have omnivore male partners, yet love is very powerful. Ethics and morality may
not be a part of everyone's dietary choice, yet it is my main consideration for becoming vegan over twenty years ago.
This lifestyle matters to me and is a massive part of my commitment to ethics and morality, yet I do care about my health
and eating a whole-food plant dietary regimen. Peace and blessings, rachel