I Feel Sadness Today.

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When I got up this morning, I came into the kitchen to find my boyfriend wearing his awful leather boots. Those things make me sick. I don't want them near me. I don't even want them in my house. I hate what they are. I can't see them without seeing the poor animal whos life was stolen. It just makes me sick to my stomach.

The two of us rode to the grocery store. I asked that my boyfriend wait for me while I ran in for a few items. The truth is, I don't want to be associated with his damn boots. I felt embarrassed. I didn't want anyone to think that I was personally endorsing wearing animal skin.

The thing is, my boyfriend knows exactly what he is wearing. He knows and understands the truth. He knows how animals suffer. He knows how sick it all makes me. I have always hated his boots. I have been waiting for the day that they fall apart or give out on him. That day did come, yet he refuses to let go of them. He even says they hurt his feet. He has "repaired" the heels twice already. We bought him vegan leather boots. He refuses to wear them. We have seen other beautifully made vegan leather cowboy boots online. He refuses to buy them.

It makes me sick that wearing animal skin doesn't also make him sick. I have been so sad all morning. I keep thinking about the poor innocent animal victims. I just had to vent.

Thanks.
 
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When I got up this morning, I came into the kitchen to find my boyfriend wearing his awful leather boots. Those things make me sick. I don't want them near me. I don't even want them in my house. I hate what they are. I can't see them without seeing the poor animal whos life was stolen. It just makes me sick to my stomach.

The two of us rode to the grocery store. I asked that my boyfriend wait for me while I ran in for a few items. The truth is, I don't want to be associated with his damn boots. I felt embarrassed. I didn't want anyone to think that I was personally endorsing wearing animal skin.

The thing is, my boyfriend knows exactly what he is wearing. He knows and understands the truth. He knows how animals suffer. He knows how sick it all makes me. I have always hated his boots. I have been waiting for the day that they fall apart or give out on him. That day did come, yet he refuses to let go of them. He even says they hurt his feet. He has "repaired" the heels twice already. We bought him vegan leather boots. He refuses to wear them. We have seen other beautifully made vegan leather cowboy boots online. He refuses to buy them.

It makes me sick that wearing animal skin doesn't also make him sick. I have been so sad all morning. I keep thinking about the poor innocent animal victims. I just had to vent.

Thanks.
Respectfully, I strongly suggest that you find a new boyfriend.
 
When I got up this morning, I came into the kitchen to find my boyfriend wearing his awful leather boots. Those things make me sick. I don't want them near me. I don't even want them in my house. I hate what they are. I can't see them without seeing the poor animal whos life was stolen. It just makes me sick to my stomach.

The two of us rode to the grocery store. I asked that my boyfriend wait for me while I ran in for a few items. The truth is, I don't want to be associated with his damn boots. I felt embarrassed. I didn't want anyone to think that I was personally endorsing wearing animal skin.

The thing is, my boyfriend knows exactly what he is wearing. He knows and understands the truth. He knows how animals suffer. He knows how sick it all makes me. I have always hated his boots. I have been waiting for the day that they fall apart or give out on him. That day did come, yet he refuses to let go of them. He even says they hurt his feet. He has "repaired" the heels twice already. We bought him vegan leather boots. He refuses to wear them. We have seen other beautifully made vegan leather cowboy boots online. He refuses to buy them.

It makes me sick that wearing animal skin doesn't also make him sick. I have been so sad all morning. I keep thinking about the poor innocent animal victims. I just had to vent.

Thanks.
If that is so disturbing to you I can't imagine continuing the relationship.
How long have you been together? How long have you been vegan? Are you both vegan?
If you've newly vegan and it's a long term relationship I can see trying to work it out-but that would have to be some compromise on both parts, not just a concession.
 
If that is so disturbing to you I can't imagine continuing the relationship.
How long have you been together? How long have you been vegan? Are you both vegan?
If you've newly vegan and it's a long term relationship I can see trying to work it out-but that would have to be some compromise on both parts, not just a concession.
We have been together for three years. I have been vegan for 11 years.
After a while, he came around to eating plant based. He then came around to buying cruelty free products.
This is something he just refuses to let go of. He says that the boots were $300 and that he just wants to get his money's worth. I call b******* on that one. He makes great money and doesn't bat an eyelash at spending so much more than $300 on frivolous items. I know that the price is not the real issue.
He is a good person. He has learned a lot from being exposed to veganism since we have been together. He is just very stubborn and I am guessing he doesn't want to be told what to do(I have only ever asked, I've never told).It's like he knows that if he buys a new leather pair of boots, he will be contributing to something horrific, so he is clinging to this pair. It's like he feels that he is going to lose his entire identity if he lets his precious boots go.

I want him to think outside of himself. I want him to see the bigger picture.
 
We have been together for three years. I have been vegan for 11 years.
After a while, he came around to eating plant based. He then came around to buying cruelty free products.
This is something he just refuses to let go of. He says that the boots were $300 and that he just wants to get his money's worth. I call b******* on that one. He makes great money and doesn't bat an eyelash at spending so much more than $300 on frivolous items. I know that the price is not the real issue.
He is a good person. He has learned a lot from being exposed to veganism since we have been together. He is just very stubborn and I am guessing he doesn't want to be told what to do(I have only ever asked, I've never told).It's like he knows that if he buys a new leather pair of boots, he will be contributing to something horrific, so he is clinging to this pair. It's like he feels that he is going to lose his entire identity if he lets his precious boots go.

I want him to think outside of himself. I want him to see the bigger picture.
I’m going to be straight with you. You are trying to control him. No partner appreciates such a thing, and it will just make you frustrated and miserable. Please consider therapy, unless you plan to continue this behavior with your current and/or future partners.

You’re obviously a wonderful person, but you’ve somehow learned this behavior along the way. Everyone learns both good and nonproductive behavior in the process of growing up, and it takes work to unlearn the bad stuff. Ask me how I know.
 
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It is kinda confusing since you got together when they weren't even plant based, but you were already vegan :shrug:
 
I'm not sure who any of you think you are, to "diagnose" my behavior, my character, my relationship.

Respectfully, you know nothing about me or my life, aside from what I have posted on this site. What's even stupider is you are basing your "diagnosis" on a few paragraphs of me venting on a specific set of circumstances. Did any of you actually read what I wrote? I was venting about being sad. It's great to know that this is such a supportive forum.

Aren't you all vegan? I have strong emotions around animals being tortured and murdered. Don't you? How nice to have those emotions be turned against me.

Furthermore, If you did read my post, you would know that I said that I had only needed to vent. I asked no questions. I asked for no advice. I certainly didn't ask for anybody to do a psychological profile on me.

Take it somewhere else.

*middle finger emoji here*
 
Fine. You took your story to an online forum where people do discuss, and give opinions :shrug:
I didn't see it as a simple "had a bad day" kinda post, but something that was ongoing. I don't understand venting on a forum and not expecting feedback.
You just wanted affirmation?
 
Well, I mean, you could either accept your bf as is, or you find a vegan bf. Trying to change the bf won't work, it has to be something they want.
 
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It does look like your account has been deleted..
but if you are still reading along it didn't seem like David3 was taking sides on the boot topic but more of pointing out your behavior around using your emotions as a justification to control his power of choice. It's not a "diagnosis" or a reason to get offended. It's more of constructive feedback that may have an honest bite to it. If you can't accept the choices of others to the detriment of your wellbeing then it could be time to take a break from the relationship and do some reflection on what you are willing to accept from someone in the future. Have not seen a single comment that is trying to attack you but just instead trying to share their view on the situation. It's not your responsibility to care about the views of others and could more see constructive criticism a choice of whether you think it applies or not.
 
It sucks how hard it is when people where tortured animals. It makes me emotional too. My bf doesn't like animals either. Stresses meowt like hell😞😞
 
It sucks how hard it is when people where tortured animals. It makes me emotional too. My bf doesn't like animals either. Stresses meowt like hell😞😞
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Your bf doesn't sound like a good match for you. There should be some Vegan Meetups in Canada, now that COVID restrictions are easing up: Vegan groups in Vancouver - Meetup. Maybe you can meet some vegan guys?
.
 
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I’m going to be straight with you. You are trying to control him. No partner appreciates such a thing, and it will just make you frustrated and miserable. Please consider therapy, unless you plan to continue this behavior with your current and/or future partners.

You’re obviously a wonderful person, but you’ve somehow learned this behavior along the way. Everyone learns both good and nonproductive behavior in the process of growing up, and it takes work to unlearn the bad stuff. Ask me how I know.
It's important to note that you are not giving a diagnosis, you are describing a behavior. This is something I am in favor of. There is no shame involved in describing a person's behavior, while giving a person a diagnosis is more of a shaming activity. So thank you for phrasing it exactly as you have.
 
When I got up this morning, I came into the kitchen to find my boyfriend wearing his awful leather boots. Those things make me sick. I don't want them near me. I don't even want them in my house. I hate what they are. I can't see them without seeing the poor animal whos life was stolen. It just makes me sick to my stomach.

The two of us rode to the grocery store. I asked that my boyfriend wait for me while I ran in for a few items. The truth is, I don't want to be associated with his damn boots. I felt embarrassed. I didn't want anyone to think that I was personally endorsing wearing animal skin.

The thing is, my boyfriend knows exactly what he is wearing. He knows and understands the truth. He knows how animals suffer. He knows how sick it all makes me. I have always hated his boots. I have been waiting for the day that they fall apart or give out on him. That day did come, yet he refuses to let go of them. He even says they hurt his feet. He has "repaired" the heels twice already. We bought him vegan leather boots. He refuses to wear them. We have seen other beautifully made vegan leather cowboy boots online. He refuses to buy them.

It makes me sick that wearing animal skin doesn't also make him sick. I have been so sad all morning. I keep thinking about the poor innocent animal victims. I just had to vent.

Thanks.
I feel you. I have no desire to partner with a non-vegan. Veganism is almost like a religion, you know? A meat-eater and a vegan(for the animals) just won't work, like a Muslim and an atheist. I would say that you should stop wasting your time with someone whose values do not align with yours, especially these values: the eating, wearing of animals. It's not just a belief system, it's a lifestyle. And being vegan, seeing others not care about animals and going as far as to be part of the problem in the ongoing suffering and exploitation of animals, it will be a constant thorn in your side. Don't do that to yourself. Life is short. Find a partner who is already like-minded. :)
 
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