How to Recover From Eating Out-Help!!

ConvenientVegan

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How to Recover From Eating Out (Badly!) With Friends!! Help!

A DEAR friend treated me to dinner last evening, and I let him pick our appetizers. Cheese, deep-fried everything, some meat--ugh! I even took home the leftovers!! Ate them, as I HATE to waste food.

So, today, planning on some popcorn, on stove with canola oil, and eaten plan. Then as much SALAD as I can get in me, to FLUSH my system! Gained weight (already!), and feel blah!

How about you guys?! What do you do when (if?) you have to eat some stuff to be NICE?! Ugh!!

Thanks!! : )
 
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A DEAR friend treated me to dinner last evening, and I let him pick our appetizers. Cheese, deep-fried everything, some meat--ugh! I even took home the leftovers!! Ate them, as I HATE to waste food.

So, today, planning on some popcorn, on stove with canola oil, and eaten plan. Then as much SALAD as I can get in me, to FLUSH my system! Gained weight (already!), and feel blah!

How about you guys?! What do you do when (if?) you have to eat some stuff to be NICE?! Ugh!!

Thanks!! : )
A P. S. to the above, that you might enjoy:

A Buddhist monk was asked if he would eat beef at a party. He replied, "Of course".
"The cow is dead, but the hostess is not."

In my defense--my friend was very much alive!! : )
 
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A DEAR friend treated me to dinner last evening, and I let him pick our appetizers. Cheese, deep-fried everything, some meat--ugh! I even took home the leftovers!! Ate them, as I HATE to waste food.

So, today, planning on some popcorn, on stove with canola oil, and eaten plan. Then as much SALAD as I can get in me, to FLUSH my system! Gained weight (already!), and feel blah!

How about you guys?! What do you do when (if?) you have to eat some stuff to be NICE?! Ugh!!

Thanks!! : )
it doesn't happen to me anymore. And even going back it was a Very Irregular thing. One time my mom for a special occasion made me veal scaloppini. Thinking it was my Favorite Meal. She was getting forgetful. It Is my brother's favorite meal. What was I do to? I had some.
And on various occasions, at work they would throw me a birthday party. And there would be cake. Not many of them knew I was vegan. And I always felt obligated to have some.

Nowadays everyone I'm close with knows I'm vegan and makes at least some effort to make sure there is something vegan on the menu or something vegan prepared.

The other thing is potlucks, and I try to bring something myself that I can fill up on and mostly go for the veggie tray. However a few weeks ago I went to a group potluck with people I hardly knew and it was unplanned. Almost all there were was desserts. but I had brought guacamole. Which is what I filled up on. Note to self: Guacamole and chips is not a good entree. I did break down and have a cookie.

Another reason I have less trouble with this nowadays is that if you get 10 or more people together it's unlikely I'm the only vegan.

that does remind me of this one time I went to a reception at an art gallery and there were party like appetizers. All. with meat. but there was a veggie tray - there almost always is. I was grazing off of that when I overheard a couple debating if the dips might be vegan. we bonded and I had a very nice conversation on the plus and minuses of grocery store plant based dips.

As far as advice for you goes.
#1 don't let a carnist order for you.

or even pick the restaurant.
I do this with my friends and family all the time. no one seems to mind.

Oh, reminds me of another good story. I get together with my sisters and go to a restaurant a few times a year. For some reason we were meeting up in a city I don't know well and they picked the restaurant but had checked ahead and found there was ONE vegan meal on the menu. So we get there and it turns out that the one vegan meal was on the dinner menu. but we were there for lunch. It was a little heart warming for me to see how upset the sister who picked the restaurant was and even made the suggestion we go find somewhere else. But I thought before we leave, I could ask the waiter if there was something to be done. And he told us that there was no problem. The chef could easily make something on the dinner menu. He even said this had happened before.

Moral of the story. Talk to people. you might be surprised how receptive people are to vegans. (caveat - I live in California - your results might vary. )
 
Very simple - we don’t.

It’s not rocket science to tell somebody who is ordering the appetizers that I eat vegan.

It’s not impolite to not eat non-vegan stuff.
I guess they also would not expect a Jewish or Muslim person to join them for pork knuckles and a beer.

Just try to politely explain that the next time.

Buddhist monks are bad examples in that respect.
Yes, they are expected to be humble, which means that if they ask for alms, and somebody offers them non-vegan food, it would be considered rude to turn that down, so they should not make a fuss about it.

BUT … if a Buddhist monk asks you « Dear sir, would you kindly have some food for me, if possible, vegan, as I try to not partake in the slaughter of animals », then the other person would have to be a special kind of a***ole to offer meat instead.
Also, that is typically not what happens at parties (begging for alms).

If that specific monk says he would eat beef, then it is because he likes the taste and his « vow of poverty » gives him a very convenient excuse. Like … the current Dalai Lama, if I am not mistaken :-(
 
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The only time I remember eating something to be nice was years back when I worked at a place with a cafeteria. I'd been asking for her to make the soups that should be vegan lose the meat broths that she felt they needed. She finally switched to using veg broth in the lentil and the veg soups, and she was so happy to tell me. Right after that we had a company thing that involved lunch and she made a point to let me know she had Morningstar bean burgers, and to request them. I knew they had egg, but there was no way I was going to make a deal about it when she was going out of her way to think of veg'ns needs. I had a burger (I don't even like bean burgers, much less with egg! :laughing:)
Anyway, I thanked her, and waited a few days to discuss why I don't eat egg.

I can't understand eating meat though. I've had instances where things were mislabeled and bit into meat, not knowing what it was, just a horrid putrid nasty textured thing I had to spit out. Bile comes up my throat :hurl:. I like the taste of the seasonings that go on meat.
 
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I'm with Andy on this one. I just don't. When I went vegan, I made it a point to let everyone I know -- family, friends and co-workers alike -- what I had decided, why and what that meant food-wise. That way, there would be no surprises or situations where I'd find myself having to eat something I didn't want to eat. I did make an exception when early on my well-meaning mom made me a veggie dish she thought was vegan, so I ate it. It had honey in it, and she wasn't aware that honey wasn't vegan. I casually mentioned it to her weeks later because I didn't want to hurt her feelings after she went to the trouble of making me something.

I have no qualms about declining non-vegan food in social situations. I have some friends who happily accommodate my veganism, but others just stopped inviting me to dinner either at their homes or out at a restaurant. And I'm OK with that.
 
I appreciate how kindly you treated your friend however I don't think I could do it myself.

Avoiding such situations is my go to.

Emma JC
Find your vegan soulmate or just a friend. www.spiritualmatchmaking.com
Emma, You got the gist of this story--the lesson is compassion on the part of the Buddhist monk for the hostess of the party. The beef is dead, you can't bring it back to life, but, you can honor the hostess and her hard work, by partaking. My friend treated me to dinner--I let him choose, as he was paying. I ate, tried to enjoy, and honored his kindness. Now I'm recovering. Salad was GREAT! I feel better. Vegan life does get interrupted sometimes! But, my taste buds will come back... And I'll feel normal again. Jumble cooking a baked casserole today--black beans, corn, green pepper. Lots of herbs and spices, roasted hemp seeds, raisins, crumbled whole wheat matzos, lion's mane mushroom powder, green tea matcha powder, nutritional yeast, cocoa powder. You get the idea. As much good stuff as I can jumble in there! Marinate under cover for 1 hour, bake at 350 for 1/2 hour. Spoon in! Happy Winter Solstice, all! The days get longer after this... : )
 
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It only happened to me once during my first year going vegan...that was 19 years ago.
I had been fostering this beautiful Persian kitty until this elderly woman was able to adopt her. On the day of the adoption, my friend and I drove the kitty to the woman's house. She had invited us in and offered us tea and cake. It was a lemon cake and I knew it had dairy/eggs and that was back in the day before I learned how to assert myself lol. So I had a small piece because I didn't want her to think I was rude and I didn't think she would know what vegan was if I tried to explain.I'm pretty sure I would never eat meat under any circumstance. But never say never I suppose. I just can't imagine it.

In hindsight, I could've used the allergy excuse.
 
Emma, You got the gist of this story--the lesson is compassion on the part of the Buddhist monk for the hostess of the party. The beef is dead, you can't bring it back to life, but, you can honor the hostess and her hard work, by partaking. My friend treated me to dinner--I let him choose, as he was paying. I ate, tried to enjoy, and honored his kindness. Now I'm recovering. Salad was GREAT! I feel better. Vegan life does get interrupted sometimes! But, my taste buds will come back... And I'll feel normal again. Jumble cooking a baked casserole today--black beans, corn, green pepper. Lots of herbs and spices, roasted hemp seeds, raisins, crumbled whole wheat matzos, lion's mane mushroom powder, green tea matcha powder, nutritional yeast, cocoa powder. You get the idea. As much good stuff as I can jumble in there! Marinate under cover for 1 hour, bake at 350 for 1/2 hour. Spoon in! Happy Winter Solstice, all! The days get longer after this... : )
I have to disagree with the reasoning that it’s OK to honor the host’s hard work by eating the beef because the beef is dead. By that logic, it would be OK to eat beef all the time, say, from the supermarket or from a farmer who raises “happy cows” by honoring the cows whose lives were cut short. Where is the compassion for the cows?
 
I think everyone is right.

Veganism is about compassion. and when someone makes you a birthday cake or veal scallopini, the better choice could be to not hurt anyone's feelings. Like in the monk's example.
However we shouldn't forget about being compassionate to ourselves. I think it's possible not to hurt anyone's feeling and just ask them to respect your values. Dinner is nice but I get to order for us.
 
How to Recover From Eating Out (Badly!) With Friends!! Help!

A DEAR friend treated me to dinner last evening, and I let him pick our appetizers. Cheese, deep-fried everything, some meat--ugh! I even took home the leftovers!! Ate them, as I HATE to waste food.

Why didn't you tell him (if he didn't know) that you don't eat animals or animal products whilst you let him choose your meal. You say 'ugh'! What does that mean?
You also took the leftovers back home as you hate to waste food!

I see that as giving out a conflicting message to the other person. Or, perhaps living a vegan lifestyle has a different meaning to you. If you were a flexitarian that would sound logical as they do eat flesh and dairy products.

Is this a one time thing or do you accept to eat meat when people invite you out?
How about you guys?! What do you do when (if?) you have to eat some stuff to be NICE?! Ugh!!

Thanks!! : )


''The beef is dead, you can't bring it back to life, but, you can honor the hostess and her hard work, by partaking. My friend treated me to dinner--I let him choose, as he was paying. I ate, tried to enjoy, and honored his kindness.''

As someone else has already said, it's not logical reasoning. Nobody eats an animal if it's alive! Moreover, if someone pays for your meal, you let them dictate what you eat!

I always refuse to eat anything that is not plant based. I always make it clear beforehand if I'm invited out so the person is aware that I will not eat animal products. I don't see this as not being 'nice' but assertive. If, it's a big deal for the person inviting me to their home, I offer to bring my own food. One person, in particular, sometimes asks me to bring my own meal.

When I invite people over, I always ask them beforehand, if there is something that they won't eat. No conflicting messages for either guests or hosts and we all enjoy what we eat.
 
Why didn't you tell him (if he didn't know) that you don't eat animals or animal products whilst you let him choose your meal. You say 'ugh'! What does that mean?
You also took the leftovers back home as you hate to waste food!

I see that as giving out a conflicting message to the other person. Or, perhaps living a vegan lifestyle has a different meaning to you. If you were a flexitarian that would sound logical as they do eat flesh and dairy products.

Is this a one time thing or do you accept to eat meat when people invite you out?



''The beef is dead, you can't bring it back to life, but, you can honor the hostess and her hard work, by partaking. My friend treated me to dinner--I let him choose, as he was paying. I ate, tried to enjoy, and honored his kindness.''

As someone else has already said, it's not logical reasoning. Nobody eats an animal if it's alive! Moreover, if someone pays for your meal, you let them dictate what you eat!

I always refuse to eat anything that is not plant based. I always make it clear beforehand if I'm invited out so the person is aware that I will not eat animal products. I don't see this as not being 'nice' but assertive. If, it's a big deal for the person inviting me to their home, I offer to bring my own food. One person, in particular, sometimes asks me to bring my own meal.

When I invite people over, I always ask them beforehand, if there is something that they won't eat. No conflicting messages for either guests or hosts and we all enjoy what we eat.
I live in Pittsburgh, where we are the land of Polish and German food, and too much pizza! A vegan lifestyle is for me a matter of health, and general enjoyment--I happen to like what's good for me. I'm lucky. Or just determined! Anyway, to find any restaurant that is vegan here is practically impossible. And I guess I would rather eat and enjoy what someone offers, than to make a special request--my bad. I usually just eat at home, and elect to do other things with friends besides eat out. But this was his holiday gift to me--so, yes, ugh! But he really enjoyed it, so I went along, but probably shouldn't have. I guess I was more looking to find out how everyone else recovered from eating outside the vegan life--any tricks for settling the tum, and calming the mind. But it seems I'm alone in giving in to friends. Maybe I'm not a TRUE vegan. But I try. : )
 
Maybe I'm not a TRUE vegan. But I try. : )
keep trying.

also a lot of newbies are under the assumption that vegan foods in restaurants are hard to find. They are had but is is very doable.

Asian restaurants are the easiest. Since Asian cuisine doesn't include cheese all you have to do is avoid meat. And Tofu is very asian.

Mexican restaurants aren't too bad. Rice, beans, guacamole... just ask them to hold the cheese.

Italian isn't too bad. Veggie pizza can be made without cheese. Pasta with tomato sauce or even just olive oil.

then there is always just salad.

 
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You have failed! Turn in your badge imeadiately!

But seriously, if this person is truely your friend, they would accept your choice to be vegan, and would be thoughtful enough not to order meat...or at least order something for you in additon to their meat.

Their poor choice of food "fried, "greasy" (vegan or not) is a seperate issue.
 
keep trying.

also a lot of newbies are under the assumption that vegan foods in restaurants are hard to find. They are had but is is very doable.

Asian restaurants are the easiest. Since Asian cuisine doesn't include cheese all you have to do is avoid meat. And Tofu is very asian.

Mexican restaurants aren't too bad. Rice, beans, guacamole... just ask them to hold the cheese.

Italian isn't too bad. Veggie pizza can be made without cheese. Pasta with tomato sauce or even just olive oil.

then there is always just salad.

Thanks for the encouragement, Lou! Perfection is the enemy of the good, as they say. Pittsburgh is a tough town--and I always hate to tell the chef how to do his job. Certainly Asian is the most vegan choice, here--not a cheese cuisine. And I love sushi rolls, the cucumber and avocado! Merry Christmas to you!! : )
 
AFAIK Buddhist monks have certain rules to follow.
In Theravada traditions, they are allowed to accept meat as alm - if the animal was not killed exclusively for them. So, if some Buddhist monks visit you and ask for alm, you can give them leftover meat if you have some - but you are not supposed to slaughter a chicken so that you can have something to give to the monks.
In some Zen/Chan/Son traditions, veganism is the norm for monks. (I don't know ev'rything about all the traditions existing so I cannot be sure. In Tibet and Nepal, it would be practically impossible to eat 100% vegan.)
This is why I am not totally sure if their rules can be applied for us vegan laypeople.

However, @ConvenientVegan , I do think this encounter was something worth to experience. Yes, this is what one can expect from non-vegans and their attitudes.
You say your friend enjoyed it very much, while the same thing could not be told about you.
Sometimes it's not worth being that polite. You paid for your friend's "gift" by feeling terrible the day after, and by having such doubts about your being vegan. I am always very radical and militant, and my environment has gotten used to it - they hadn't got any other choice TBH!
 
keep trying.

also a lot of newbies are under the assumption that vegan foods in restaurants are hard to find. They are had but is is very doable.

Asian restaurants are the easiest. Since Asian cuisine doesn't include cheese all you have to do is avoid meat. And Tofu is very asian.

Mexican restaurants aren't too bad. Rice, beans, guacamole... just ask them to hold the cheese.

Italian isn't too bad. Veggie pizza can be made without cheese. Pasta with tomato sauce or even just olive oil.

then there is always just salad.

Asian restaurants can also be the hardest due to use of so many kinds of fish additives. Fish sauce, oyster sauce, bonito flakes....unless someone there is understanding of veganism, or fish allergies, it's easily missed, and often already incorporated in sauces.
I once ordered from a Pho place a soup labeled vegetarian, it was served with a dark sauce on the side which looked like soy sauce, but smelled quite fishy. I was told it was vegetarian 🙄
 
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This reminds me of the time a friend took me out for a surprise lunch. It was definitely vegan, but totally WFPB! There wasn't a single thing I wanted to eat off that menu, and kinda choked down what I customized :joy:. Still laugh about that
 
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Asian restaurants can also be the hardest due to use of so many kinds of fish additives. Fish sauce, oyster sauce, bonito flakes....unless someone there is understanding of veganism, or fish allergies, it's easily missed, and often already incorporated in sauces.
I once ordered from a Pho place a soup labeled vegetarian, it was served with a dark sauce on the side which looked like soy sauce, but smelled quite fishy. I was told it was vegetarian 🙄
Sadly, that's quite often true.
People still tend to think fish and seafood to be vegetarian, and I am, like, sorry WHAT? Fish is not a kind of vegetable. The same goes for oyster and the like.
 
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