Hard time making friends

[Animallover21]

Hi there,
I am new to this site. 0_0 hopefully I posted this in the right category. 0____0

I always seem to have a really hard time making friends. I hardly have any vegetarians/vegans friends. I have been a vegetarian for 7 years and tried being a vegan off and on and finally am making the transition again but for good this time. I have been vegan now for a week.

It's so hard finding people with the same views as me. And most people are rather rude about me being vegan. And loving animals like I do.

A girl at my work told me that me being vegan is almost just as bad as if I were transgenered. Wth?!!!?! : ( but most people have been Mean to me for years about my love for animals, and especially at any job I have they are. Even when I worked at petsmart, they were terrible to me. I honestly hate human beings and was starting to become very bitter. But I am starting to come out of that, well I am still bitter on the inside but on the outside I don't show it. But it's not so good to have so much negativity inside. But I do hate most people. As most are selfish jerks. As I am sure you guys agree with that. And it's sad.

I really want to make new friends, ones that have things in common with me, as in loving animals passionately and compassionately and being vegan.

So I thought I would join a vegan forum in hopes of making new friends.

 

[Andy_T]

Hello Animallover21,

Welcome to the forum!

I am very sorry to hear about your challenges. Yes, omnivores can be quite defensive when they are confronted with a vegan and vegetarian, as many know, deep inside, that it is not really a good thing to kill and eat animals. So getting confronted with somebody who does not partake in that can be seen by some as a form of moral judgement, even if the vegan or vegetarian does not say anything.

I am sure you should be able to find some friends here

Where in the world do you live? Some regions might be more advanced than others as far as acceptance of vegans and vegetarians (or trans-gendered people) is concerned...

Best regards,
Andy

 

[PTree15]

Hi, Animallover, and welcome. Meeting fellow vegans/vegetarians is a challenge in these times, and I completely understand your anger and frustration. I find I have to compartmentalize the fact that most of my family and friends are good people, except for the fact they aren't veg*n. I temper my anger by remembering I once was a non-veg*n and just keep in my heart the hope that someday they will come around.

This place is great and full of fine people, and I'm happy you decided to join VV.

 

[Tom L.]

Welcome, Animallover21! I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with people. Most people I know don't feel the same way about animals as I do, but they usually don't give me a hard time about my not wanting to harm animals, even indirectly by my eating them.

I don't think I would have known what to say to that girl who told you being vegan was almost as bad as being transgender (I mean, just... huh?...)

 

[beancounter]

Welcome to VV!

 

[Animallover21]

Thank you guys so much!!! I live in WA btw.

And yes it sucks very much. And the thing is is that I am always polite to others and am not rude to others by their meat eating choices. And never have been. But most people always disrespect me and I am not even trying to victimize myself and over exaggerate.

That one girl about the transgender thing kept laughing and laughing at me for being vegan. Someone told me I should go to HR about it. So maybe I should. But it's just annoying to always have to deal with such things.

As sometimes I feel alone in my beliefs.

A guy at my work gives me crap basically every time I see him. Another guy will tell me how my pet bunny would be good in a stew and he would always say that to me and it always offended me greatly, so finally after many times of him insulting me, I finally fought back this one time he insulted me and told him how his children would be good as a stew as well and finally he has shut up. Not the first time. But when he did it again after that I said the same thing and he has finally shut up. I think I made him angry but pets are the same as children and she is my child. Even if people don't see it that way, they still are. Oh well.

I wanted to say the same to this older lady at my work because she told me how she would just make bunny stew instead of bringing a bunny to a vet. Because I was talking how I took mine to one. And she was serious. I was so insulted. So I had wanted to say something like that to her (like I said to that guy) after she said that, like when shed bring up her grandchildren etc, but I didn't want to get in trouble. Plus she is a mean lady anyway. And unfortunately, I probably would get in trouble and it's not worth it.

People like these have made me bitter. I don't show how bitter I am on the outside in public. But on the inside I am very bitter. But I am trying hard to let it go. It just makes you negative and not good for you. But it's hard when so many people are so mean, selfish, and ignorant. Especially when you try to be a very caring and kind person and people just always treat you like crap in return.

Whoa. Sorry, about this vent. Didn't expect to do this. 0________0

But at least it feels nice to get it out lol. Things like this has been going on for like the last 7 years. I try to not let it get me down though. It is a struggle sometimes.

I don't normally do well with having friends that are non vegetarian/non-vegan. I know I was that way before too but having them as friends is hard. Because most of them are inconsiderate, not compassionate, and selfish etc. And they only care about themselves.

And I think the way people have treated me throughout my life (not just cause of being vegetarian but thinks like Being bullied at school, being different than others, and having had abusive family members and abusive first boyfriend) , has really made it hard for me to make friends and to maintain that friendship and not somehow push them away and ruin it. And then it ends up making me feel so unlikable and depressed because I don't mean to ruin any friendship. Makes me feel like something is wrong with me to where people cannot like me and enjoy hanging out with me. And that's how I have felt today. So between last night and this morning I ate A WHOLE THING OF OREOS because I was feeling down. 0_0 lol

I am not seeking pity and not trying to get attention. Just need to vent. And wanting to meet like minded people.

Didn't mean for this to turn into a rant. 0____0

 

[Joe]

I would suggest you start with this directory of national/state/local vegetarian and vegan groups.

Vegetarians in Paradise/Vegetarian Associations /Vegan Organizations/Societies/Clubs/Animal Rights/Meetups

 

[Chryssie]

Welcome to VV! I understand your frustration though I admit I have not faced much bullying due to being veg. Perhaps because I chose this lifestyle later on in life, I am able to ignore negative comments and things do not bother me like they would have when I was much younger. I am assuming you are a young person here! I agree with Joe that you look for some groups in your area to connect with fellow vegs IRL. Of course we will be more than happy to help and support you. And you can rant all you want!

 

[Andy_T]

I live in WA btw.

Is that WA as in Western Australia, or something else?
(I am not trying to be funny or anything, btw, I just have no idea what it stands for, and that is what Google came up with)

My suggestion would be - like Joe already mentioned - to find some vegan and vegetarian friends online and try to get to know some in real life. I find that Facebook is a good place to get connected with fellow vegans.

As a matter of fact, I very likely more or less live in a dream world, because I typically check my facebook feed, I only see updates from considerate, healthy, active, vegan, progressive Bernie Sanders supporters, which tends me to believe that the world is a much better place than it is in reality )

Best regards
Andy

 

[Amy SF]

First of all, welcome to VeggieViews. And you obviously need a hug. And it's good to get your feelings out rather than keep them all bottled up, and this site is a good place to do it because we're all so supportive here.

 

[Joe]

Is that WA as in Western Australia, or something else?

I think it means Washington State, in the USA. WA is the "postal code" for Washington.

See:

U.S. State Abbreviations & State Postal Codes

http://www.infoplease.com/us-states/washington.html

 

[Andy_T]

Yes, Joe, thank you, that makes sense. Of course, those abbreviations do not mean as much to people in other countries as they do to the people living there .
My first association was actually "Wichita", but I guess that would be abbreviated differently.

 

[Animallover21]

Yes I live in WA state in the US.

Thank you guys for your help.

I would go to a meetup group to meet vegans but people scare me. 0____0 lol. I have too much anxiety around others. But yes it would be nice to meet local vegans online where I live, and then talk about meeting up after I get to know them online. I had a vegan friend who I found that way. But actually because my vet told me to get in touch with her. It's a long story.

 

[KLS52]

Hello and welcome!

I don't get "out" much so it's always such an eye opener when I hear what others go through in different parts of the country. I can't imagine being around people with such views. I live in NY and my friends, family and co workers are very tolerant and interested in my lifestyle. Sorry it is so difficult for you.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Animallover21]

Thank you very much. I am very glad that people there are more respectful and accepting. And that your family, friends and coworkers are too.

Thank you everyone for your kind words.

 

[Second Summer]

Welcome on board, AnimalLover

It sounds like the problem is partly the age group (as pointed out by others here). I was thinking perhaps the socio-economic group was also part of the problem. When one associates with the great unwashed masses, there is significant risk one will be subjected to rude and insensitive conversation. Where so you work? I would be surprised to hear that level of conversation in an office, for example.

I'm afraid the world is full of ignorant, rude, hateful people. So, seek out social arenas where you find the kinder, gentler, perhaps more educated type of people.

 

[Animallover21]

I work at a hospital.

I do have two vegan/vegetarian friends who are older than me, but one lives a bit far away from me now and then the other one, I dont want to bother all the time.

 

[Amy SF]

In my 30-year career as a medical transcriber, I worked at two different hospitals and a variety of private offices, and it's really depressing to work in healthcare and be surrounded by people who work in an industry devoted to taking care of people's well-being yet have little interest and often a negative view of a plant-based diet. And that's not just employees feeding themselves but the patients as well. I had to put up with a LOT of negative crap once I went veg. (One example: At a pizza lunch, ordering several meat pizzas but just one vegetarian pizza, eating the entire veg pizza before I got a chance at it, and then telling me it was all gone but I could pick the pepperoni off the leftover meat pizza. They probably got a good laugh at the expense of the office's only vegetarian.) The best way to deal with it is to maintain a positive, light, humorous attitude and don't let anyone's toxic attitude and stupid statements get to you. Be a positive veg*an role model, Bring in vegan cookies or spicy kale chips or extra vegan lasagna, whatever you like, and share it with them so they can be reminded (something they don't want to admit) that vegan food can be just as delicious as omni food - and even more delicious!

 

[Animallover21]

I am really sorry that happened.

And yes that is what I do and it's so hard to maintain it.

Ohmygod, you just reminded me. I work in the cafe part in the hospital. Well the head chef, who is mean to me about my veganism (I mentioned him above as one of the guys who was rude to me)... Well guess what he did!!??! So he put out a chili to serve.... he slaps 'vegan' on the title and acts all proud and says how it's all vegan. But nope, he knew it wasn't and lied about it. One day I was looking at the nutrition content in it and saw there was cholesterol and I am thinking to myself... 'is this a typo??' Nope. I researched futher and turns out anchovies were in it. Yep. And when he was confronted he said 'well, it's such a minute amount.' Hahhaha. It doesn't matter. It still doesn't make it vegan, let alone vegetarian. WTH!!!!! Plus, this is a hospital too, people could get sick. They changed it, thankfully but this guy should be fired as he has done a bunch of other crap too which should have led this cafe to be shut down. But nope. I hate humanity.
Only reason I work there still is because I get paid so well and it's like the easiest job. But I want to have a job where I work with animals, like bathing dogs. Which I use to do at PetsMart, but I hate pet stores and they do not care about animals. And girls who worked there in the salon with me mistreated animals. And were very mean to me about being vegetarian/vegan and also about how I spent so much money on my hamsters and made sure they got all the vet treatment they needed when they need it and surgeries when needed it.

After I dealt with a hamster related death, I was devastated. And they were so mean to me for grieving. One girl gave me a book on 'how to not be sad.'

Whoa, sorry, on a huge ranting spree. Feels good to get this out though.

 

[Amy SF]

I agree he should at least be officially reprimanded and possibly fired. Sneaking fish into chili and calling it vegan isn't just irresponsible and offensive to someone who has made a dietary choice to be vegan, but can be dangerous to someone with an allergy if he's willing to do something like that. "It's just a few peanuts, no need to tell anyone about it." You should definitely tell whoever supervises him. At least they'll have a written record of his actions.