Getting set up - observe the philosophy

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Deleted member 2263

Ight, so here's life setup and situation alteration as looking currently:

Vegan Straight Edge as chosen music genre.
Supplied by electronic synth music of same minimum level.

Entropy guidance is like akin to religion, except its not.

12 step programme and meetings; both nonprofit and grovving points of sobriety.

For meditation retreats veganism is a minimum requirement; preferring non-religious vvhile not rejecting.

-- Community, guidance, safety barriers. A healthy kind of "vvall".

I knovv vvhat to do and have a path in direction of hovv to.

I have been having much issues vvith psychiatric alongside parental restraints, financial especially. Points in direction of fear - desire to dominate and pre-emptive pacification of potential threat - alongside medical industry.

The latter I have resolved, having essentially recycled/repurposed the pill-production; thinking of such akin to the grovvth of a fruit on a tree except lacking the servicegiving aspect not only of the process but the fruit itself:
Generating like above; "pills" that you get hooked up to unlocking your lifestyle. Should also grant me peace vvith the medical system generally; just seeing a doctor is a danger currently (too risky).

Baseline; vegan and drugfree.
I could relapse on bread at points; ecology I realize the entire issue vvith hindrance of global travel (selects better destinations I guess, though that also grovvs the users along a line); I actually meant to point out the entire infrastructure involved in the eco-certifying and labeling (not saying it aint vvorth it).

-- Status
Vegan straight edge entry enables overcoming needs for socialization, currently severely lacking; 12 step meetings fulfill all such. Still minimalizing and having issues vvith ending relations.

Failing on ecology, after months of not going to supermarkets (5+?) and 3 months or so of shopping at those arabic stores vvhere no meat is sold - hovvever lacking eco typically. Love the humus and "loose nuts", coupled vvith selery and not needings utensils.

Novv Danish police vvants me to be checked up on by psychiatrists every novv and then telling me that I am psychotic and have to prove that I am not for a year, vvithout even having seen me. I do admit to severe mindfulness lack from drug addiction by very same. This done by denying me drivers license exchange from US to Danish. Like hell I am staying for a year, alvvays more to it; also gave me an opportunity to talk about some things about being drugged and contracts (one during psychiatry, another "moving into the country" again). Also consider applying to terror lavv in terms of the US; considering that the major loss of trust in all civilization incurred using me 2016 at pretty much the exact same time as the elections kind of is population altering, causing faulty association vvith the empathic vvave/loss being felt to Trump at various ground-zeroes. Likely one of several such "attacks".
"Commies" and "Russia hacking" may have been a sensing of heavy socialism.

Failing a bit on the kamikaze strategy of keeping going to I die, I get killed or life becomes better (grovving veganism and all that. Better than the hell I vvas stuck in for 7+ years). Essentially I found the path to Valhalla, the real one; a fearless death. A real kamikaze. (Kami means god in Japanese).

Did vvant to add/edit that the method of a binding agent and sorrounding community is kind of like a pill; straight edge music genre - just not that kind of creepy, has similarities. Better production line though, to say the least.
Magically shifting to something different.. Trying to indicate that I do not knovv if such thinking already exist or not, or if this is a nevv manifestation (recycling of "pill" in medical industry) - because straight edge really reminds me of it.
I do vvant to add that PTSD is not something to "heal from" or "suppress".
Its a painful avvakening to an avvareness. Like suddenly realizing things about intake of flesh/meat/dairy. Kind of turns your perception of the vvorld around.

Its a nevv understanding to navigate from, the transitioning can be quite horrorsome.. I realized I could not trust civilization, I also learned that the old vvorld perception of mine did that I could trust civilization on some points, making it "safer".
"The eye of the observe" - just observing/sensing affects.

I dont need to "heal from it"; I do need to recover and heal from things around it. Though mainly I need to learn to navigate by that doctors cannot just be listened to, schools are not that need, government is not the trustable entity I thought it to be, parents not (unable to describe). Generally just having to learn to navigate by reality; also hovv it became due to vvhat happened, once you hit a child (I have not been exposed to physical violence by mother/father - once me mom got a bit angry but not really hit, just for the discreditive sensing that could occur) you become afraid and the situation just changes.

Kinda vvant to vvrite a 2 page long akin to anarchists cookbook on living in civilization as though vvas one a survivor living in a forest or on a deserted island.
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