Friend played cruel joke

LordBroccoli23

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Hey guys!!! I want to start off by saying thank you for listening and supporting me in my transition from flexitarian to veganism. The switch was one of the most profound and life changing events of my life.

I saw a new way of eating healthy without hurting the poor animals being slaughtered in the process. If we continue to eat meat as a human race, we are slaughtering countless innocent animal lives. I decided to take a stand. I decided to be the difference!!

My co-worker, let's just call him Konnur played a cruel joke on me the other day. He snuck a piece of meat in my soup. I didn't know I ate it until he showed me pictures. I feel so horrible. I am so hurt for ingesting a dead flesh from a once living animal.

How do I overcome this emotional trauma? I feel so hurt and betrayed by Konnur. I feel like I want to punch him in the face.
 

Jamie in Chile

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Suggest tell him in a polite firm way that this is serious, not a joke and not to do it again, and if he ever manages to do it again criticise him more harshly in front of coworkers. However try not to let food out of your sight next time.
 
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TofuRobot

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I'm sorry this happened to you. I don't take kindly to anyone touching my food, in any way shape or fashion, and that which you describe is just rude, cruel, and super disrespectful. Someone who does that, IMO, is *not your friend.* He could have made you physically ill, on top of the emotional torment, which is no joke. None of it is funny at all. If you feel you do want to maintain this "friendship," I'd waste no time in laying down some serious ground rules.
(((hugs)))
 

PapaJack

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Just explain to him you did not appreciate it, then move on. We all have done things that at the moment we thought it was funny, but turned out it was not.
 
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LordBroccoli23

LordBroccoli23

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Thank you for all your support. I approached my co-worker Konnur and told him that i didnt appreciate him for doing the unkind gesture.

He just replied with a jerk grin.

I am so angry that i just want to slap his stupid same haircut off but i fear that would be animal abuse.

What do I do?
 

Thabo

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Hey guys!!! I want to start off by saying thank you for listening and supporting me in my transition from flexitarian to veganism. The switch was one of the most profound and life changing events of my life.

I saw a new way of eating healthy without hurting the poor animals being slaughtered in the process. If we continue to eat meat as a human race, we are slaughtering countless innocent animal lives. I decided to take a stand. I decided to be the difference!!

My co-worker, let's just call him Konnur played a cruel joke on me the other day. He snuck a piece of meat in my soup. I didn't know I ate it until he showed me pictures. I feel so horrible. I am so hurt for ingesting a dead flesh from a once living animal.

How do I overcome this emotional trauma? I feel so hurt and betrayed by Konnur. I feel like I want to punch him in the face.
Sorry to hear your friend would do this.

Firstly you must understand that some people think our diet change is a joke so this can make our process difficult at times.
This reminders me of some of our fellow vegan who posted here that he/she drank milk without knowing since the restaurant made a mistake.

We all told him/her to not take offense because these things happen to many of us vegans.

More than that please understand that as a vegan you are unique and normally alone so you will be tasted at times and that is part of the journey.

So do not let someone control your emotions and behaviors because you are not doing it for them.

Just explain your ways of eating to them and how serious it is and if he/she does not understand and keeps neglecting you than maybe that is not a true friend.

I am saying this because a true friend would never something sensitive to you if they really understand you because the case with me is that if that happened to me I would have chest pains.

So that friend could be putting me at risk of taking my life if they do it purposefully.
 
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StrangeOtter

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Hellishly infuriating situation. What is it with some people when they can't respect others at all?
I'd also like to punch him. But going down to his level won't help in the long run. It would only give temporary satisfaction, and, if you do it wrong, you might break your fingers. He isn't worth it.

I agree with TofuRobot. Report him.
 
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StrangeOtter

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Can we all take a step back and empathize with Konnur? He may not have known that LordBroccoli was a vegan! I don’t understand all of this outrage. Just let him be!
The co-worker might not understand veganism, and has alot of personal growth ahead of him. But, right now, the victim/defender is most important.

By the way, I know that you are trolling. But...I laughed so hard, at the image of the character in your avatar, saying what you wrote, in a very high-pitched tone, so I can't be mad at you.
 
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Bob Who

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Nothing aids in personal growth like being fired from a job for intentionally tampering with another employee's property. No matter what your reasons are for the diet you follow, no matter his reasons for what he did, it comes down to he felt at liberty to adulterate your food. Once you get over your anger and frustration, you're still left with that.
 

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There are always idiots. If you do punch him, keep your thumb on the outside.

Because this is a life choice, not a medical condition there will always be people who do stuff like this, it's a form of bullying, which can be the fallback for jealous or insecure people. Maybe have a proper conversation with him and explain why you are vegan, maybe he can be converted, he might turn into your biggest supporter.

Don't go to HR, you are both adults, resolve this in an adult manner. Running to Mummy or the teacher never solves anything, you have to deal with your own problems in life.
 
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poivron

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Contrary to popular opinion, HR is not there to protect you but rather to protect the organization you work for. I agree with Sally that the LordBroccoli should try resolve this in an adult manner. Going to HR will only create the impression that the LordBroccoli is the troublemaker.

Moreover, it is highly likely that "Konnur" did what he did in order to get a reaction out of LordBroccoli. The bigger the reaction, the more amused Konnur will be. The right thing to do, in my opinion, is to ignore Konnur and, as Jamie said, be more careful in the future to make sure he doesn't have an opportunity repeat his tasteless "joke".
 
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Jamie in Chile

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Going to HR does indeed make you look like a trouble maker. I think you have to first ask him to stop firmly, and then give it time. You may be able to solve the problem without HR. However, you do need to use HR when it's serious.
 
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betiPT

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Konnur is not a friend and this is not a joke!

I really empathise with you. *hugs*

Considering Konnur did not empathise with you or apologise when you approached him to tell him how you feel shows that he is not worthy of your friendship.

The outcome of this situation is that he has lost you as a friend. You are enlightened, he is not. Be polite, but Avoid contact in future wherever possible :)

Learn from the experience and put in measures to protect your food. Carry your food in an insulated bag with an ice block and leave near you so it is not accessible by anyone (that’s what I do :) )

Do not feel bad about anything because you did the best you could and this incident does not make you less of a vegan, it makes you an amazing vegan!
 

Forest Nymph

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Thank you for all your support. I approached my co-worker Konnur and told him that i didnt appreciate him for doing the unkind gesture.

He just replied with a jerk grin.

I am so angry that i just want to slap his stupid same haircut off but i fear that would be animal abuse.

What do I do?

He's obviously not your friend. If he thinks it was a harmless prank, like an April Fool's joke, that's understandable, but now that you've approached him and told him your feelings, continuing to be a jerk about it is unacceptable.

I would report it to HR and stop hanging out with this dude.
 

Forest Nymph

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Nothing aids in personal growth like being fired from a job for intentionally tampering with another employee's property. No matter what your reasons are for the diet you follow, no matter his reasons for what he did, it comes down to he felt at liberty to adulterate your food. Once you get over your anger and frustration, you're still left with that.

The way that I look at it is: if the OP were a Muslim or a devout religious Jew, it would be considered an HR issue without question had Konnur put pig's flesh or pieces of crab in a co-worker's food. There would be outrage, it might even make the local news. SO ...all of the vegans who are saying "oh don't contact HR be an adult" ...enjoy your own self-defeating behavior, but your desperate need to look like a well-behaved conformist isn't serving the animals, nor humans who are vegan to be taken seriously.