Emailing an old friend out of the blue...

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Digger

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Have you ever emailed or called someone you haven't spoken to in many years?

I've done this several times now and it only just occurred to me that this might come across as being kind of weird to them. But that's just how my mind works. I'll move onto another job and people will fall out of my mind, but then years later I'll be thinking of them and get back in touch completely unexpectedly.

Is this weird or cool?
 

KLS52

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I think it's cool! I've done it a few times...always turned out good and well received.

I went to great lengths to track down a very good childhood friend after not being in touch for almost twenty years.
Last January it resulted in a reunion with four of us from grammar school having an awesome weekend! :)
 
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Digger

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I think it's cool! I've done it a few times...always turned out good and well received.

I went to great lengths to track down a very good childhood friend after not being in touch for almost twenty years.
Last January it resulted in a reunion with four of us from grammar school having an awesome weekend! :)
That's pretty awesome.
 

Joe

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Have you ever emailed or called someone you haven't spoken to in many years?

I've done this several times now and it only just occurred to me that this might come across as being kind of weird to them. But that's just how my mind works. I'll move onto another job and people will fall out of my mind, but then years later I'll be thinking of them and get back in touch completely unexpectedly.

Is this weird or cool?

No, not really. I am interested in what kind of reaction you've gotten.

I do recall an incident from a couple years ago. A friend of mine was putting on this event, which involved a fairly elaborate dinner and speeches and presentations, all to benefit her charity. Tickets were fairly expensive, and I had bought five. Near the date of the event, one of the people I had invited told me she would not be able to come. So I was stuck with an extra ticket. I called my friend and asked her what to do. She suggested I call Diane C., who had been part of our group at a number of previous pot luck dinners.

When I called Diane, the reaction I got was: Who the hell are you? Although I had eaten dinner with her on numerous occasions, she claimed not to know me at all and behaved as though I were some sort of con artist trying to pull off a scam.

I've gotten that reaction on other occasions--people I've met several times claiming not to know me, in fact, being fairly hostile.

I don't think there is an "expiration date" on friendship. And I don't have an address book or contact list that keeps track of the last time I was in touch with every person I know.

But many other people seem to feel that unless you have contacted them recently, you belong in the dustbin of history.

One other thing: many people change their email addresses so often that it is not really safe to assume that an email address you haven't used for several years still works. Some people send out email notices about such address changes, but I'd guess they are in the minority--maybe one out of five.
 

Chryssie

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I have re-connected with some people on Facebook. Actually they are my son's friends who hung out at my house so much that I considered them "my boys". And I have gotten nothing but positive results. Tonight I "friended" another young man whom I haven't seen in years and years who was my son's best friend when they were in high school. I have tried finding my college roommate with no luck however.
 

Calliegirl

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I've contacted friends I haven't talked to in years and it has always gone well, in fact I'm still talking to them. On the other hand, I've had a couple of exes who I haven't talked to in years contact me on FB, and it didn't go so well for them. :p
 

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I think it's cool. I think usually you will get a good response. And if you don't, don't worry about it.
 

peacefulveglady

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I have reconnected with my ex from childhood and high school and we are thinking about dating in near future LOL. We have not seen each for 11 years but, we been talking over the years through via net.
 

SummerRain

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I guess I'm the only one who thinks it's weird! An old friend turned up at my door once, we hadn't spoken for years, I thought it was really odd and I wasn't especially happy about it. But I tend to think, if you loose contact with a person, usually there is a reason. If you were such great friends you'd have made the effort to keep in touch.

:confused: I'm pretty unsociable though so, this is probably just me.
 

peacefulveglady

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The thing with my ex is that it wasn't our choice to break things up, it was his parents that pressured him to end it with me , so he did, many years has passed and we are finding out we both feel the same about each other.
 
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beancounter

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The most I've done in that regard is get in touch with someone I was freinds with in my fresman year in college when I was a senior. It turned out that we had followed different paths, and had different interest and priorities. We really didn't have much to talk about, and it was akward.
 

Mr Crunchy

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It's only weird if you're contacting them to ask a favor or something, which has happened to me. Another time, the person had turned into a highly paranoid conspiracy theorist and he went on for over an hour about contrails and black helicopters.

Other than that, I am always delighted to hear from someone I haven't been in contact for years or even decades. It's nice to know people are still thinking of me, even if our lives don't allow for frequent contact.
 

shyvas

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I guess I'm the only one who thinks it's weird! An old friend turned up at my door once, we hadn't spoken for years, I thought it was really odd and I wasn't especially happy about it. But I tend to think, if you loose contact with a person, usually there is a reason. If you were such great friends you'd have made the effort to keep in touch.

:confused: I'm pretty unsociable though so, this is probably just me.

You're not alone. I also think it's strange that people contact you after a long silence.
 

RabbitLuvr

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I guess I'm the only one who thinks it's weird! An old friend turned up at my door once, we hadn't spoken for years, I thought it was really odd and I wasn't especially happy about it. But I tend to think, if you loose contact with a person, usually there is a reason. If you were such great friends you'd have made the effort to keep in touch.

:confused: I'm pretty unsociable though so, this is probably just me.


I would also find it weird. Especially if the person would have to go through some effort to contact me, it would seem kind of stalker-ish. I would be completely freaked out if someone from my past turned up at my door unexpectedly.

I even think it's weird when old high school friends send me a Facebook friend request. Sometimes I accept, but I've also been known to report them as someone I don't know. Even if I do remember them. :x
 
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ledboots

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I guess I'm the only one who thinks it's weird! An old friend turned up at my door once, we hadn't spoken for years, I thought it was really odd and I wasn't especially happy about it. But I tend to think, if you loose contact with a person, usually there is a reason. If you were such great friends you'd have made the effort to keep in touch.

:confused: I'm pretty unsociable though so, this is probably just me.
Showing up at your door is way weirder than an email! When I was in my 20's though, this happened to me with two high school friends, but they ended up taking me out to NYC for the night (60 mins away) and we had a blast. This was the 80's, and having gone to boarding school, we were all geographically scattered after graduation, different universities, etc so had lost touch. These friends came to see me so they could come out off the closet to me. We had all joked around in high school about how nice it was to have guy friends who didn't hit on me, but I hadn't know they were gay. They said they had only told a few people; I'm glad they trusted me to be one since the club scene was *really fun* with them. Good friends, good memories. :)

Nowadays with cell phones, email, facebook, etc, I never show up anywhere without being in touch first, no matter how close we are. :)
 

Calliegirl

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I guess I'm the only one who thinks it's weird! An old friend turned up at my door once, we hadn't spoken for years, I thought it was really odd and I wasn't especially happy about it. But I tend to think, if you loose contact with a person, usually there is a reason. If you were such great friends you'd have made the effort to keep in touch.

:confused: I'm pretty unsociable though so, this is probably just me.

I would be very unhappy if someone showed up at my door unexpectedly. A phone call, email (or snail mail) or contacting me on FB is fine.

A few years ago an old neighbor contacted me and my siblings, we were kids when we knew her. She was a nice older lady, who wanted to see how we had turned it. I didn't mind talking to her at all. :)
 
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RabbitLuvr

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Even a phone call or (snail mail) letter would weird me out.

About the only thing I wouldn't think was stalker-ish would be getting a message from someone on Facebook.
My first email account I got in college is still active, so getting an email to that account would be ok, too, but I never check it other than to empty the junk box (and everything to that account is junk, so I'd never read it).
 

Wolfie

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I've done it a couple times with good results. It's not really that hard to lose contact with someone. They move or you move, an address gets misplaced, lives get busy and years go by. I would never show up at someone's door unannounced though.
 
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AeryFairy

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I guess I'm the only one who thinks it's weird! An old friend turned up at my door once, we hadn't spoken for years, I thought it was really odd and I wasn't especially happy about it. But I tend to think, if you loose contact with a person, usually there is a reason. If you were such great friends you'd have made the effort to keep in touch.

:confused: I'm pretty unsociable though so, this is probably just me.

I'd be a little weirded out if someone showed up on my doorstep, but texts/emails/facebook messages from old friends is all cool by me. It happened to me a while ago, actually - an old friend of mine got a tattoo, and sent me a message to say that it made her think of me. We hadn't spoken in so long, and it was really great to catch up :)
 
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I'd say an email is completely fine, whether it be through your hotmail, gmail, etc or your facebook account. Unless you were super close and for some reason, lost touch, I'd say showing up at the door or calling would be weird and appear stalker-esque.

If they respond, that's great, if not, well, at least you made an effort to say hi.
 
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