Discomfort in social and family situations with meat-eating? I am

VeganRachel

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I am a multi-year ethical vegan and to me, veganism is a commitment to the animals, environment, and humanity as a whole.
I wanted to be social and went to some restaurants, and to family holiday celebrations. But every time
there were the dead animals at the meals. In restaurants I had to find something I could eat, and were few choices. Yes, i tried indian
restaurants and I could get veggies or beans. Yet there was always the sight and smell of animals. And knowing the kitchen was cooking
animal parts in many pots and pans. So, i became more and more uncomfortable with these mealtimes. I felt I was comforming my values
in order to socialize with others. They were casually eating their meals and I was grossed out by the sights and sounds. I was the only vegan at the table.
No one else understood. After doing this for years, I decided that I just want mealtimes to be vegan, or at the very least, vegetarian. I understand
this in its' own way, IS limiting, as food is a part of all social events, and 99.7% of all places serve dead animals as food.
Humans WANT to go out to eat, have you over for dinner, and socialize around food. I get it. And I admit I am not that fond of eating out to
begin with, not being from a large city where there ARE vegan restaurants. But, as one friend pointed out, "you are not eating it, so what is the
harm of being in the restaurant (gathering, etcetera)?". It is knowing the meal is centered around the pain and suffering of animals, that I am
looking at it, smelling it, watching others chew on it.
I understand that many "failed" vegans fail because they cannot handle the pressure and stigma of being different. They do not want to be
the outsider, make things wierd. So, they eat animals to fit in. To be 'normal' again. There is a lot of social pressure out there for sure. Societies see
eating animals as normal.
I am NOT eating animals again, but am simply writing to see if there are others who have faced similar issues. Those who do not want to be in
situations where dead animals are served. I know many vegans socialize with family and friends around meat-centered meals. That is okay if it
is your choice to do so.
I want to reach people with a vegan lifestyle message. I do not want to isolate myself, so this is a sensitive issue. But when humans are eating their
meals they are not interested in a vegan message! they want to have their meal and be left alone. I know I am going to host vegan potlucks where
everyone is welcome, just bring a vegan dish. No dead animals allowed. That to me is socializing. What do you think of these issues?. Peace.
 

silva

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I am a multi-year ethical vegan and to me, veganism is a commitment to the animals, environment, and humanity as a whole.
I wanted to be social and went to some restaurants, and to family holiday celebrations. But every time
there were the dead animals at the meals. In restaurants I had to find something I could eat, and were few choices. Yes, i tried indian
restaurants and I could get veggies or beans. Yet there was always the sight and smell of animals. And knowing the kitchen was cooking
animal parts in many pots and pans. So, i became more and more uncomfortable with these mealtimes. I felt I was comforming my values
in order to socialize with others. They were casually eating their meals and I was grossed out by the sights and sounds. I was the only vegan at the table.
No one else understood. After doing this for years, I decided that I just want mealtimes to be vegan, or at the very least, vegetarian. I understand
this in its' own way, IS limiting, as food is a part of all social events, and 99.7% of all places serve dead animals as food.
Humans WANT to go out to eat, have you over for dinner, and socialize around food. I get it. And I admit I am not that fond of eating out to
begin with, not being from a large city where there ARE vegan restaurants. But, as one friend pointed out, "you are not eating it, so what is the
harm of being in the restaurant (gathering, etcetera)?". It is knowing the meal is centered around the pain and suffering of animals, that I am
looking at it, smelling it, watching others chew on it.
I understand that many "failed" vegans fail because they cannot handle the pressure and stigma of being different. They do not want to be
the outsider, make things wierd. So, they eat animals to fit in. To be 'normal' again. There is a lot of social pressure out there for sure. Societies see
eating animals as normal.

I am NOT eating animals again, but am simply writing to see if there are others who have faced similar issues. Those who do not want to be in
situations where dead animals are served. I know many vegans socialize with family and friends around meat-centered meals. That is okay if it
is your choice to do so.
I want to reach people with a vegan lifestyle message. I do not want to isolate myself, so this is a sensitive issue. But when humans are eating their
meals they are not interested in a vegan message! they want to have their meal and be left alone. I know I am going to host vegan potlucks where
everyone is welcome, just bring a vegan dish. No dead animals allowed. That to me is socializing. What do you think of these issues?. Peace.
I was with you until I read the boldened--that really got to me, and I immediately associated it with what I'm now dealing with--right wingers I work with! I never had to deal with that before now, my old job coworkers and I shared the same ideologies, but now, I feel like the odd one out. I certainly don't want to rock the boat, or open a can of worms, so to speak, burn bridges I can't cross. I have succumbed to quiet when they start their rants, and pretty much just say I feel differently, but leave that discussion to another time. Maybe sometime when it's not so heated.

Anyway, I only allude to this mindset difference because i don't have the issue of feeling leftout as a vegan. I rarely go to restaurants with friends, and when we do they ask me to choose because they won't be left out, where I would be. Sometimes I've dealt with big gatherings at steakhouses, thats pretty miserable. I thought ahead and put menthol rub in my nostrils.

When I had my kids I did waiver being veg'n due to outside influences, and didn't raise them veg'n--but it was more because I wasn't completely sure of nutrition, but also because I have enough oddities that I didn't want to subject my kids to any more. If I had to do it over again I would have changed that.

I completely agree that it's not a subject to discuss at meals, so yes, stay away from toxic people as much as possible!
Most people I know are very open to plant based eating-esp quitting dairy-for health, so it's easy to talk about food. It isn't easy to talk about ethics though, but whatever the reason, it's all good

I'm pretty much a solitary person, I have to force myself to socialize enough as it is, so I'm not much help
 
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VeganRachel

VeganRachel

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I was with you until I read the boldened--that really got to me, and I immediately associated it with what I'm now dealing with--right wingers I work with! I never had to deal with that before now, my old job coworkers and I shared the same ideologies, but now, I feel like the odd one out. I certainly don't want to rock the boat, or open a can of worms, so to speak, burn bridges I can't cross. I have succumbed to quiet when they start their rants, and pretty much just say I feel differently, but leave that discussion to another time. Maybe sometime when it's not so heated.

Anyway, I only allude to this mindset difference because i don't have the issue of feeling leftout as a vegan. I rarely go to restaurants with friends, and when we do they ask me to choose because they won't be left out, where I would be. Sometimes I've dealt with big gatherings at steakhouses, thats pretty miserable. I thought ahead and put menthol rub in my nostrils.

When I had my kids I did waiver being veg'n due to outside influences, and didn't raise them veg'n--but it was more because I wasn't completely sure of nutrition, but also because I have enough oddities that I didn't want to subject my kids to any more. If I had to do it over again I would have changed that.

I completely agree that it's not a subject to discuss at meals, so yes, stay away from toxic people as much as possible!
Most people I know are very open to plant based eating-esp quitting dairy-for health, so it's easy to talk about food. It isn't easy to talk about ethics though, but whatever the reason, it's all good

I'm pretty much a solitary person, I have to force myself to socialize enough as it is, so I'm not much help
Thanks Silva. Some humans are extroverts, some introverts for sure. Some are both like me; and I dislike labels.
I do like my alone and quiet time as well, but do like being with others in certain situations. Part of me simply wants
others to be open to learning about what information I can share. But we are all
habitual about our addictions and fear change. I have had others try to get me to socialize more with their friends
and I retreated, so change works both ways. I understand many do not want to know the truth about eating
animals. I think they know the truth deep down inside but it is too much to realize.
Yes, some are more open minded than others and accommodate.
I was invited to my dogsitters home twice for dinner years ago. I went and was very happy she only had
vegetables for dinner. That was so sweet of her. She may not have known what else to fix but it was very considerate
of her to do that in my honor. I was grateful for that.
Studies show that the right-wingers in general are very pro-meat and dominant, interesting personality habits for sure.
Can you ask the Righters if they love their dogs and cats, and hate to see them in pain?. Would they watch "Earthlings"
documentary and see if that reflects ethics and morality? christian?
Jeshua and his family were Essenes, and were all vegetarian. Jeshua fed the masses with GRAPES and bread. "FIsh" mentioned
was not real fish, but bread baked in fish molds for holy days. Also back then they ate seaweed which some may have referred
to as fish. Jeshua did not eat the dead. Jeshua was hated because he shared the spiritual (not dogma) truth. One week before Passover
he went to the temple of jerusalem to disrupt the selling of animals who would be sacrificed a week later in the bloody temple.
Thousands of animals were sacrificed for profit, to absolve humans of their mistakes, called "sins". Yet the animals are not responsible
for our mistakes, WE are.
The whole town profited from animal sacrifices, so when Jeshua drove the humans (and animals) out. They were really angry. Then a week later
Jeshua was ritually sacrificed. I am not religious, but am spiritual. Jeshua was sacrificed because he tried to protest animal sacrifices in
his fathers house. He thought he could end them
Faunalytics.org has some great studies to view and read about veganism and related subjects.
I grew up in an omnivore home. My parents did the best they could but they raised us eating animals. I am the only vegan in the family,
been so for over twenty years and never regretted the decision. I am proud of my tenacity and strength and commitment. I love me.
It always amazes me what omnivores overlook that is so normal in society, like the sight and smell of animals
in every store, restaurant and eatery. They believe it smells GOOD and stimulates their appetite, that it is normal.
So then vegans are arrogant? when omnivore arrogance is all over the world where food is. Quite amazing.
namaste', rachel
 
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VeganRachel

VeganRachel

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I was with you until I read the boldened--that really got to me, and I immediately associated it with what I'm now dealing with--right wingers I work with! I never had to deal with that before now, my old job coworkers and I shared the same ideologies, but now, I feel like the odd one out. I certainly don't want to rock the boat, or open a can of worms, so to speak, burn bridges I can't cross. I have succumbed to quiet when they start their rants, and pretty much just say I feel differently, but leave that discussion to another time. Maybe sometime when it's not so heated.

Anyway, I only allude to this mindset difference because i don't have the issue of feeling leftout as a vegan. I rarely go to restaurants with friends, and when we do they ask me to choose because they won't be left out, where I would be. Sometimes I've dealt with big gatherings at steakhouses, thats pretty miserable. I thought ahead and put menthol rub in my nostrils.

When I had my kids I did waiver being veg'n due to outside influences, and didn't raise them veg'n--but it was more because I wasn't completely sure of nutrition, but also because I have enough oddities that I didn't want to subject my kids to any more. If I had to do it over again I would have changed that.

I completely agree that it's not a subject to discuss at meals, so yes, stay away from toxic people as much as possible!
Most people I know are very open to plant based eating-esp quitting dairy-for health, so it's easy to talk about food. It isn't easy to talk about ethics though, but whatever the reason, it's all good

I'm pretty much a solitary person, I have to force myself to socialize enough as it is, so I'm not much help
Thank you for your thoughts. I am amazed no one else commented on my post.
It takes a strong human to be vegan, it really does. Congrats. Being different in a world where more humans are conforming
as omnivores, takes courage. The same courage it took thousands of years ago with the Essenes, Gnostics and
Cathars to be vegetarian in Jeshua's time. Some humans do not realize how cruel they are to laugh at vegans and enjoy
their animal products. The empathy is lacking. If they worked in a slaughterhouse for a week.....
I am not a conformist. Just because other humans are comfortable and like eating animals does not mean I will join
in. I believe in my morals and ethics about being vegan. Smelling the dead cooking is a horrible experience. It is very difficult
to be around that, I agree. Few humans can understand because they instead, smell "food" and it stimulates their appetite.
Yet I smell pain and suffering......the same as if a roasted dog were placed on a dinner table.
I honestly wonder, how many humans would know if they were eating human flesh, or non-human flesh?. Flesh is flesh and
we are all animals. About 100-150 years ago some citizens in Russia were starving. There was nothing to eat. They literally started eating
dead humans because that is all there was. Butchers all of a sudden had "flesh" for sale, but it was not chicken or pig. Cannibalism
has happened many times in human history because of famine or drought. I do not believe in eating any flesh, but this fact horrifies most of us.....