Dealing With Non-Vegan Friends and Family

Bite Size Vegan

Vegan Fruit-Ninja
Joined
Jun 11, 2014
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if you’re newly vegan or considering going vegan, or even have be vegan a while, one of the biggest challenges can be the reactions of your friends and family. in this interview, vegan activist Gary Yourofsky shares his approach to both non-vegan friends & family and also people who become combative about the vegan message. and check out part II, Gary’s one rule for eating with non-vegans: Bonus Video: Gary's One Rule for Eating With Non-Vegans what are your thoughts on this matter? how do you interact with people of different dietary persuasions? (whether you’re vegan or non-vegan) let me know in the comments!
 
Hmm, a lot to digest there, BSV, no pun intended :D.
That said, my house is vegan, so anyone who wants to eat with me at home knows they will get vegan food. My mom asked whether I would host Thanksgiving one year, and would I mind if she cooked the turkey in my oven. I will bend a lot for my mom, but I told her in no uncertain terms would I ever allow an animal to be cooked in my house. She was unhappy with me for a bit, but in the end she understood. If they want Thanksgiving at my house, it will be a vegan Thanksgiving. Consequently, no one is interested in coming for Thanksgiving.

But away from home is another matter. I don't think it's right for me to dictate what should and shouldn't be served in someone else's home, thus I rarely dine with most of my non-vegan friends at their homes, save for the few (and I mean very few) understanding souls who will cook and eat vegan with me. When dining out, I'd be eating alone every time if I followed Gary's rule of eating with non-vegan friends and family. It can be frustrating, as I don't really enjoy watching people dine on dairy or dead flesh. My best friend remains a non-veggie, and we have decided not to discuss our various stances on veganism vs. omnivorism because we just can't agree. She knows not to bother with bringing up her justifications such as "happy cows" and the protein issue and the religious issue. When I visit, she will make sure we have something vegan, but she usually supplements with some form of dairy or dead flesh. But it's her home, and she gets to make her own choices, regardless of whether I believe they are wrong. She is my dearest friend, and I'm not ready to ditch our friendship.

My mom will often prepare something vegan for me when I visit, but then she will cook non-vegan for those who aren't interested in the vegan meal. My siblings rib me a lot about my veganism, and they rarely accommodate me at family gatherings. Not that I would expect them to, but it would be nice if every now and again they'd offer something vegan-friendly. Some of them hunt, too, and they believe in the whole we're-at-the-top-of-the-food-chain stance. It's like talking to a brick wall. I don't expect them to ever change. The nieces and nephews are a little better. My one niece who recently got married made sure I had a really nice vegan meal for the reception. I must have thanked her 10 times. :D
 
Hmm, a lot to digest there, BSV, no pun intended :D.
That said, my house is vegan, so anyone who wants to eat with me at home knows they will get vegan food. My mom asked whether I would host Thanksgiving one year, and would I mind if she cooked the turkey in my oven. I will bend a lot for my mom, but I told her in no uncertain terms would I ever allow an animal to be cooked in my house. She was unhappy with me for a bit, but in the end she understood. If they want Thanksgiving at my house, it will be a vegan Thanksgiving. Consequently, no one is interested in coming for Thanksgiving.

But away from home is another matter. I don't think it's right for me to dictate what should and shouldn't be served in someone else's home, thus I rarely dine with most of my non-vegan friends at their homes, save for the few (and I mean very few) understanding souls who will cook and eat vegan with me. When dining out, I'd be eating alone every time if I followed Gary's rule of eating with non-vegan friends and family. It can be frustrating, as I don't really enjoy watching people dine on dairy or dead flesh. My best friend remains a non-veggie, and we have decided not to discuss our various stances on veganism vs. omnivorism because we just can't agree. She knows not to bother with bringing up her justifications such as "happy cows" and the protein issue and the religious issue. When I visit, she will make sure we have something vegan, but she usually supplements with some form of dairy or dead flesh. But it's her home, and she gets to make her own choices, regardless of whether I believe they are wrong. She is my dearest friend, and I'm not ready to ditch our friendship.

My mom will often prepare something vegan for me when I visit, but then she will cook non-vegan for those who aren't interested in the vegan meal. My siblings rib me a lot about my veganism, and they rarely accommodate me at family gatherings. Not that I would expect them to, but it would be nice if every now and again they'd offer something vegan-friendly. Some of them hunt, too, and they believe in the whole we're-at-the-top-of-the-food-chain stance. It's like talking to a brick wall. I don't expect them to ever change. The nieces and nephews are a little better. My one niece who recently got married made sure I had a really nice vegan meal for the reception. I must have thanked her 10 times. :D
thanks for sharing your experience. this area can be so challenging. i've reached a similar "stand-off" with my mother as you have with your friend in that we don't really talk about it much. i find other ways to bond with people and share experiences that don't involve food.

and that's pretty kick-*** that you're niece was so accommodating :)
 
You are welcome. It can be challenging, but it's beyond worth it, IMHO. :)
And yes, my niece was awesome. I could have kissed her feet, lol.