Boyfriend dumped me because i was vegan

LordBroccoli23

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Hey my boyfriend of 1 year recently dumped me because of my lifestyle to switch to vegan. I am devastated and am lost for words.
 
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I hate to hear that for you, but if he wasn't willing to be supportive of your decision to make that change, there's no telling what else he would not have been supportive of when life gets tricky. Sounds like he was in it more for his benefit than a mutual connection. He doesn't deserve you.

Good luck finding that vegan man of your dreams now. Or, at least, an omnivore that is supportive of your lifestyle.... and may or may not be persuaded to eventually try it too.
 

Emma JC

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I am sorry that this happened to you. Eating together is a very important part of any relationship. My spouse and I have been together for just over 19 years and when we met, online, we discussed food, before meeting, as both of us love garlic and onions and spices and we knew that unless these simple items were not liked by both that we would not be compatible.

How much more important, then, is being able to share a vegan life together? very, IMO.

Emma JC
 

betiPT

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Sorry to hear, please take our love to hopefully ease a little of the pain. But I think you are better off without him. I had a toxic boyfriend who was always trying to get me to stop veganism. He succeeded short term, and I felt horrible about myself! In hindsight, breaking up with him was the best thing I ever did. He was also jealous that I was at one of the top universities in the country and jealous of all my male friends. If I had stayed with him I (think) know I would have ended up as a loser!
 

Forest Nymph

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That's craziness, I've read about partners claiming it's "not sexy" or whining about veganism, but it's rare I see someone actually get dumped over it. You're better off without him because clearly the philosophical gap between you is much too large to bridge to make any sort of real relationship work. If he can't handle this, he won't be able to handle other serious issues that come up in the future, either. Besides you'd be miserable fighting all the time with someone you formerly enjoyed just because he was so opposed to your ethical choice.

Back when I was vegetarian I was in a relationship with someone who tried to bully me out of becoming vegan. He claimed vegans were weak, that I would be unhealthy, and his mother insinuated that my food choices were pretentious or "spoiled" kind of behavior (i.e. why wasn't Chef Boyardee in a can good enough for me? Good lord...) I was younger then and to make a long story short, I'm glad I'm not with him anymore. We broke up for other reasons, but had I been more mature or sure of myself at the time maybe I would have ended that relationship sooner.

Now I actively am dating, and really like a guy who eats small amounts of meat. He doesn't eat it in front of me, and accommodates me with snacking on things like almonds at his house. He also eats a lot of vegetarian or plant-based meals, including tofu. He tried being vegan once before, and has mentioned recently he would like to be go vegan, because he feels like a hypocrite. However, he's afraid to give up eggs. When I think about it, it's probably only him having this attitude that I can even tolerate dating a meat eater. I prefer to date vegetarians at bare minimum.
 
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Tomas

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What a ridiculous situation. So he dumped you because you are against animal cruelty and because you care about the environment?
Seems like a person you shouldn't have been with in the first place.

Any guy would be better than that kind of person in my regard so good riddance.
 
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Jamie in Chile

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he would like to be go vegan, because he feels like a hypocrite. However, he's afraid to give up eggs.
Interesting. This quote perfectly sums up one of the problems with the all or nothing approach of veganism. It's almost like your saying that he can't go vegan because of eggs, but eats meat?

Why don't you tell him to go vegan in everything but eggs as the most practical way to reduce animal suffering.

If he agrees, after that, ask him to commit to backyard hen eggs.

After that, maybe he'll eventually realize he doesn't need eggs.

Too many people out there saying can't go vegan because of x therefore will continue to eat every animal product!

(Could be wrong about your specific situation, but if so, the general points stands. Like of eggs is no defence of meat eating and such ideas partly arise in people's minds because of the strictness of veganism.)
 
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Slonaut

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See it as an opportunity to realize that you can be perfectly happy on your own.
 

Forest Nymph

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Interesting. This quote perfectly sums up one of the problems with the all or nothing approach of veganism. It's almost like your saying that he can't go vegan because of eggs, but eats meat?

Why don't you tell him to go vegan in everything but eggs as the most practical way to reduce animal suffering.

If he agrees, after that, ask him to commit to backyard hen eggs.

After that, maybe he'll eventually realize he doesn't need eggs.

Too many people out there saying can't go vegan because of x therefore will continue to eat every animal product!

(Could be wrong about your specific situation, but if so, the general points stands. Like of eggs is no defence of meat eating and such ideas partly arise in people's minds because of the strictness of veganism.)
You are wrong in my specific situation. I did tell him go vegetarian at least. I did say so give up meat and just eat pasture eggs. I'm literally going to grad school to do a project on plant based diets for environmental reasons, and I live in an agricultural area... you seem to be under the impression I'm some kind of n00b. Just because I have very strong ideas and opinions doesn't mean I don't know how to strategize.
 

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Oh god! That is so bad of him to dump you because of that reason. But don't you worry just move on and get over with him and find a person who won't ever do this with you.
 

Tomas

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I don't want to play relationship counselor or dating site or anything but seems like @bratvada is looking for a vegan girlfriend. I don't know if you're both from the same area or even the same continent or if you're in the same age range but ... Just saying ;)
 

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I am sorry about this happened to you. But anyway, I think it is even better for you. It means that he doesn't deserve you if he couldn't accept your lifestyle. Wish you find soon the same minded boyfriend.
 

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