How do you find belonging? It's difficult to connect with people in the land of hyper-palatable calorie-dense taxpayer-subsidized treats when everyone expects you to eat like them. There are no whole food plant-based clubs to join so how do you belong? Has it ever even been possible to belong in a country where the colonists would vanish to find interdependency with the natives? Many questions; take your pick. =)
Belonging
- Thread starter EdenBound
- Start date
I'll bite - wishing to belong is a 'long'ing within one's self - I am happy to say that after 6 decades in this lifetime that I have enough of a sense of self that I don't really care if I belong to any club or group that does not agree with different aspects of my life, be it food, living arrangements, length of hair, type of vehicle.... in fact this (vegan forum) is the only "group" that I actually communicate with regularly and that is because we do have a very important part of our lives in common. My family is a good example, I do not live locally with any of them and although I do have a great relationship with them all and communicate regularly by phone, text and email, I do not get together with them very often, even pre-covid and not at all since covid started. We have very different lives, food, religion, etc and so spending any great amount of time with them is not comfortable for any of us and so I just don't. I love them all dearly and would be there in a flash if they needed me, I am just not part of the 'club'.
My honey and I have considered buying a property where we could invite others to share the living space. The physical aspects of it all can always be worked out, the biggest challenge is "who do we wish to share our space (club) with?" Would they have to be vegans? that is limiting. Would they have to be spiritual but not religious? Would they all have to drive Jeeps? lol You get the point. I don't have answers to this so maybe it will never happen.
Back to your question It's difficult to connect with people in the land of hyper-palatable calorie-dense taxpayer-subsidized treats when everyone expects you to eat like them. There are no whole food plant-based clubs to join so how do you belong?
I am not sure why this is such a big issue as if you go to a steak house restaurant and someone orders chicken, there is no hue and cry about someone not eating the steak. If you go to a Chick-fil A and order a sausage muffin, no on cares. So why would anyone care you go to a restaurant and order your preference (even if it is vegan)? Just be yourself and make sure you belong to yourself.
Emma JC
Find your vegan soulmate or just a friend. www.spiritualmatchmaking.com
My honey and I have considered buying a property where we could invite others to share the living space. The physical aspects of it all can always be worked out, the biggest challenge is "who do we wish to share our space (club) with?" Would they have to be vegans? that is limiting. Would they have to be spiritual but not religious? Would they all have to drive Jeeps? lol You get the point. I don't have answers to this so maybe it will never happen.
Back to your question It's difficult to connect with people in the land of hyper-palatable calorie-dense taxpayer-subsidized treats when everyone expects you to eat like them. There are no whole food plant-based clubs to join so how do you belong?
I am not sure why this is such a big issue as if you go to a steak house restaurant and someone orders chicken, there is no hue and cry about someone not eating the steak. If you go to a Chick-fil A and order a sausage muffin, no on cares. So why would anyone care you go to a restaurant and order your preference (even if it is vegan)? Just be yourself and make sure you belong to yourself.
Emma JC
Find your vegan soulmate or just a friend. www.spiritualmatchmaking.com
I think it takes time. It's also harder for less outgoing personality types.
Family and relatives often do not share our lifestyle choices. If you are lucky - like me - then at least your partner and/or children will do so.
Most of us have to work for a living, so we spend significant parts of our lives interacting with colleagues at the workplace or online. There are/were a couple of other vegans at my workplace, but I've never 'clicked' with any of them. Maybe if I were a more extrovert type of person it would be different. But I get on well with my close colleagues anyway.
There are online communities like this one and its predecessors. You can meet loads of wonderful people here, and then meet them in real life later. I definitely recommend trying this.
However, one perhaps disappointing life lesson for new vegans is that - unfortunately - just because someone is vegan doesn't necessarily mean they are wonderful people that you will want to hang out with.
I have seen this in other communities I belong to as well. They may be experts on one topic that is important to you, but sadly that doesn't mean they understand or agree with you on all the topics that are important to you, or that they are somehow overall wonderful people.
That said, as veganism is more than just a 'topic' - it's a lifestyle, and therefore it touches on a lot of topics and areas of life - so perhaps chances are better that you will find compatible people in this flock? I like to think so.
Family and relatives often do not share our lifestyle choices. If you are lucky - like me - then at least your partner and/or children will do so.
Most of us have to work for a living, so we spend significant parts of our lives interacting with colleagues at the workplace or online. There are/were a couple of other vegans at my workplace, but I've never 'clicked' with any of them. Maybe if I were a more extrovert type of person it would be different. But I get on well with my close colleagues anyway.
There are online communities like this one and its predecessors. You can meet loads of wonderful people here, and then meet them in real life later. I definitely recommend trying this.
However, one perhaps disappointing life lesson for new vegans is that - unfortunately - just because someone is vegan doesn't necessarily mean they are wonderful people that you will want to hang out with.
I have seen this in other communities I belong to as well. They may be experts on one topic that is important to you, but sadly that doesn't mean they understand or agree with you on all the topics that are important to you, or that they are somehow overall wonderful people.
That said, as veganism is more than just a 'topic' - it's a lifestyle, and therefore it touches on a lot of topics and areas of life - so perhaps chances are better that you will find compatible people in this flock? I like to think so.
As you already know, the word vegan inspires competition. It's an identity that people instantly throw barriers up to prove wrong or defend. You're right about not all vegans being wonderful people -- plus a lot of them consume vegan junk foods which may explain some of the behaviors -- and the ones that have been especially militant have left a mark in people's minds throughout history.
Maybe we're coming at this eating habit wrong? Marketers have very cleverly shaped identities that create lifetime brand loyalty and even attached masculinity or femininity to the consumption of products. Maybe we need an anti-identity. An anti-ego? Daniel famously humbled himself before God in one of the first documented clinical trials for consuming plants and maybe that humility is a good first step. In disarming competition too? Maybe a good first step in belonging to something that's meaningful too.
I like your idea of connecting with others here. I'm still new to this communication channel and don't know the possibilities yet. Do people post geographically?
Lou
Forum Legend
not that much. we do have some threads that focused on an area. For instance since so many products are regional we have a UK New Products thread. We also have a US and an international politics thread.
We have a Globetrotting section but not many members post there these days:
Hi, @EdenBound !
Most of my friends and relatives aren't veg*n. I won't deny that I wish they were, but I'm not sure how I would go about "converting" them. I only knew one vegetarian as a child- an older gentleman/neighbor- but I became first pescatarian and then vegetarian years after he and my family had moved to different neighborhoods, although I remember we once had a long, pleasant conversation at a neighborhood picnic. I've loved animals since about as long as I can remember, and it was sort of inevitable that I'd become pesco at 16. But I grew up with non-vegetarians, and kept my relationships with them.
I don't know exactly where my passion for animals came from, although both my parents had pets when they were younger, and our family had pets also. When people ask me what I eat, I try to keep it somewhat brief while mentioning the common foods which give me the nutrients most folks would get from meat (as well as other things- my family always had vegetables and fruits handy, but some might not.)
About meeting other veg people: the other website I belong to is VeggieBoards. It used to be more active than it is now, and we had a few meetups where members in the same geographic area got together face-to-face. Meetup, the internet website, might have some vegetarian groups.
Most of my friends and relatives aren't veg*n. I won't deny that I wish they were, but I'm not sure how I would go about "converting" them. I only knew one vegetarian as a child- an older gentleman/neighbor- but I became first pescatarian and then vegetarian years after he and my family had moved to different neighborhoods, although I remember we once had a long, pleasant conversation at a neighborhood picnic. I've loved animals since about as long as I can remember, and it was sort of inevitable that I'd become pesco at 16. But I grew up with non-vegetarians, and kept my relationships with them.
I don't know exactly where my passion for animals came from, although both my parents had pets when they were younger, and our family had pets also. When people ask me what I eat, I try to keep it somewhat brief while mentioning the common foods which give me the nutrients most folks would get from meat (as well as other things- my family always had vegetables and fruits handy, but some might not.)
About meeting other veg people: the other website I belong to is VeggieBoards. It used to be more active than it is now, and we had a few meetups where members in the same geographic area got together face-to-face. Meetup, the internet website, might have some vegetarian groups.
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That was helpful! I've checked out Veggieboards already and we'll see what happens. =)
