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So, June will mark ten years of not eating meat. I was a vegetarian for eight years before transitioning to veganism - the only issue I have with veganism is finding decent looking vegan shoes. I have an impulse to wear nonvegan shoes... would this make me a completely terrible monster...

Don't give up hope! I know that feeling of guilt and sadness. I had a similar experience with my own family when I first became a vegetarian. Now it'll be ten years with no meat. I don't know about your home situation, but if you are of age to do grocery shopping and cook for yourself, give it...